Classic
"I love you.”
“Night.”
Back at the screen door she answers “What?” I stand under her nose and say “Box is out of juice.” Inside she sits me on the black and white polka-dotted sofa we make love around here and there. “Sheets,” she wants to know. “Only in winter,” I say, “but not tonight.” The hall door closes. I take the two round burgundy pillows and stack them under my neck. Snow and sweat dry at my mustache. At two o'clock I trace my hands over pieces of furniture until I reach the kitchen sink. '92's running. She's in the middle of the front seat. Faucet's dripping. She could be asleep she's so still. The handle lands halfway down the garbage disposal. One headlight blinks back at me. Classic.
“Night.”
Back at the screen door she answers “What?” I stand under her nose and say “Box is out of juice.” Inside she sits me on the black and white polka-dotted sofa we make love around here and there. “Sheets,” she wants to know. “Only in winter,” I say, “but not tonight.” The hall door closes. I take the two round burgundy pillows and stack them under my neck. Snow and sweat dry at my mustache. At two o'clock I trace my hands over pieces of furniture until I reach the kitchen sink. '92's running. She's in the middle of the front seat. Faucet's dripping. She could be asleep she's so still. The handle lands halfway down the garbage disposal. One headlight blinks back at me. Classic.
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Author's Note
Published at The Camel Saloon
Other stories by Parker Tettleton
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Parker, I admire the leaps and stops and starts in the seamless piece. You give the reader the confidence to use his/her imagination and that's an amazing skill. Not to mention your scintillating prose. The brevity of opening dialogue. The ending one word line with so much meaning. Wow.
What Robert said. Well done!
Thanks, Robert and Christian! I'm very happy you both enjoyed the piece and thank you for taking the time to read as well as comment.
I like this in a jagged sort of way. It's jagged for me. I worry that I'm missing something. In fact, I know I'm missing something and that I will see it in future readings, which are sure to come. Layers. Texture. Skilled, Parker.
Thanks for reading and your comments, Sheldon! It was originally a much different piece - the scene skipping at the end was added in a re-draft, and in the beginning the car actually was a classic. I ended up going for some awkward, squirmy funny (hopefully) vibe just so I could write a piece playing on the word classic and use a car as a vital character. Thanks again!