Up Front
People everywhere!
He tries to get through, but it literally feels like everyone has the same intentions: to get through.
If somebody told him this is what Hell would feel like, he wouldn't be too surprised: hot, unpleasant and crowded. There's little time left, he really has to hurry up now. He has to be up front in less than two minutes, or he would prefer to be in real Hell instead of this one. Then it would be all for nothing. All for nothing. He pushes harder and harder, using his arms too now. This is far too important. Too important.
Get out the way! Out the way! Temperature is rising, thirst too. But he doesn't care.
Finally, he has made it. Exhausted. He almost died, but hasn't been this much alive ever. Ever.
...
"Ladies and gentleman, here they are: the band you were all waiting for. A big applause for ... Iron Maiden!!"
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Author's Note
This is my first English story ever. Just wrote it after I signed up for Fictionaut an hour ago.
I'm just curious if I'm able to write a bit, or that I'm seriously not capable of doing so.
I'm a Dutch student without much writing experience, but wanted to give it a go. Any comments appreciated of course.
I'm sorry, I was disappointed by the ending. I felt like I was tricked, made a fool of. I was expecting his drive and force to take me somewhere worthwhile. Maybe save a life, something like that. Just my opinion. Good luck with your writing.
Thanks for the comment. The ending is probably not the best part. Thanks for reading it and for the advice!
Marin--Consider joining one of the workshops. You'll get feedback that can help you edit your piece before publishing it.
Thanks for the advice, I will take a look at the workshops ;)