Dear Carl

by Ginny Woods

On behalf of tiny snipers,

we are delighted to invite you

to join

an iterative process

of hematoid symposia

to be held at the hinges

of daily life.

We are aware that

you are short, round

and disabled

so keep your fiberwigs in check,

Avoid contact with drunkie,

Call off your hounds.

You may feel more comfortable

keeping a safe distance from the walls

And leaving dump bins alone.

A private dinner with the cohort will follow.

Feel free to attend the dinner but not the jazz,

the jazz but not the dinner.

dietary concerns will be addressed.

To the extent that you are able,

to the extent that we must,

let us spread-udder your mumps

across the table.

We ask only that you

kindly refrain —

And we trust that you will.

Printvites have been sent,

rest assured

And fee-payers have been charged.

We invite you, of course,

as our guest.

Understand that we don't sign off on scopes of work

or embolisms.

To your point —

You will certainly find the conversation stimulating.

Parking passes are available.

The time has now come.

Please wait quietly.

The cabinets are truly hideous.

The panel sessions are soon to begin.


Yours cordially,

Short Pump