by Craig Snyder
One sunny day after Christmas Eldon went ice fishing with Grandma and Grandpa at Haymarsh. He was not fishing for Ice Fish but for regular fish who swam under the ice. Craig was there too. Craig was wearing more pairs of socks than anyone. He was wearing 3 pairs of socks.
"It's a good day to practice our awesome jedi mind powers, and Chinese fighting," Craig said.
"Yes," Eldon said. "I was just thinking that."
PART TWO
Grandpa drilled some holes in the ice. Eldon helped clear the holes. Grandma got out the fishing poles and kept watch for Grizz-Sharks while Craig smoked a cigarette. Suddenly Eldon caught a tremendous pike with cruel sharp teeth. The pike tried to bite Eldon's head off but Eldon defeated the pike with his awesome jedi mind powers.
"I have defeated you," Eldon said. "With my awesome jedi mind powers."
"Yes," the pike said. "You certainly have."
"We will eat you as gently as possible," Eldon said.
"I appreciate that," the pike said.
PART THREE
"Let's walk to Grizz-Shark Island," Craig said. "Right now."
"Okay," Eldon said. "Let's run like crazy."
Craig and Eldon started running like crazy across the ice towards Grizz-Shark Island. They almost slipped on the ice and smashed their heads open but didn't.
"Watch out for Grizz-Sharks!" Grandpa screamed. He was worried.
"Don't worry," Grandma said. "They have awesome jedi mind powers."
"I forgot," Grandpa said.
He sat down on his butt to watch his tip-ups and flags. If a flag went up that meant a fish was biting. He kept sitting on his butt and watching those flags all the time Craig and Eldon were walking to Grizz-Shark Island.
Just then Craig and Eldon got to Grizz-Shark Island. Grizz-Sharks tried to trick them with rotten ice. "Look out," Craig said. "There is rotten ice."
"I know that," Eldon said.
They walked onto Grizz-Shark Island and got some Chinese fighting sticks. Grizz-Sharks attacked them. Their breath was stinky and loud. "You will never defeat us!" Eldon yelled. He stabbed a Grizz-Shark with his Chinese fighting stick and killed the Grizz-Shark. Craig and Eldon kept fighting and killed 5 Grizz-Sharks, and then walked back from Grizz-Shark Island and were tired and ate miniature Snicker's Bars and sat down on plastic buckets.
PART FOUR
There were many other fishermen and fisherwomen and fisherkids on the ice. They were not catching any fish. "You are not catching any fish!" Eldon yelled to them. "We know that!" they yelled back. They were almost frozen like human popsicles because ice is cold and it was winter. "Watch out for Grizz-Sharks!" they yelled to Eldon. "I already killed 5 of them!" Eldon yelled back. "It was easy!"
Grandma and Grandpa were not catching any fish, and Craig was not catching any fish, because he was making an awesome ice slide. Craig ran and slid on the ice slide 50 times and was out of breath. "No one is better at ice sliding than me," Craig said breathlessly.
"Let's do Chinese fighting with sticks," Eldon said.
"Okay," Craig said.
Craig and Eldon started Chinese fighting with sticks and smashed up a bunch of sticks, and slid on the ice slide a bunch of times. Eldon fell on his butt on the ice and laughed.
"I fell on my butt," Eldon said. "But it doesn't hurt."
"Use your awesome jedi mind powers," Craig said. "To not fall."
"They don't work with ice slides," Eldon said. "Remember?"
"You are right," Craig said. "I forgot that part."
Then Eldon and Craig did more Chinese fighting with sticks and were almost chomped by Queen Snakes near Queen Snake Island.
PART FIVE
The sun was going down behind the trees and Eldon felt cold.
"I feel cold," Eldon said. "Let's go home."
So Grandma and Grandpa packed up all the ice fishing stuff and everyone started walking back towards the truck, which was a silver truck. They put all the ice fishing stuff into the truck and then Eldon said "you better check the truck for Grizz-Sharks, Grandpa, because sometimes Grizz-Sharks hide in trucks and jump out at you when you least expect it."
"No way," Grandpa said. "That will never happen."
Everyone got in the truck and Grandpa started driving home. A Grizz-Shark jumped out and started ripping Grandpa's clothes off. The Grizz-Shark was 10-feet tall and had six-inch steel claws with computers in them.
"Aaaaayyyyyiiiii!!!" Grandpa screamed. He was screaming like a baby. He was so scared of Grizz-Sharks he almost wet his pants. His hair turned blue.
Don't worry, Grandpa," Eldon said. He punched the Grizz-Shark in the nose 3 times. The Grizz-Shark started crying and ran away into the woods and was chomped by a Queen Snake.
"I hate Grizz-Sharks so much," Grandpa said. His clothes were all ripped to shreds.
"Me too," Grandma said. "They are the worst kind of sharks. They never give any Christmas presents to anyone."
"Write down what happened," Eldon said to Craig. "So no one will ever forget it. Especially the part about the Grizz-Sharks and Grandpa screaming like a baby."
"I will," Craig said.
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Eldon is an actual human person. He and I actually had this adventure. Some parts are fiction. For example, there are very few Grizz-Sharks left.
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Fantastic. So imaginative. I'm impressed with how you nailed the surreal, childlike tone right off the bat, and kept it consistent throughout. It ended perfectly. Love the Grizz-Shark with the "six-inch steel claws with the computers in them." What a great, original read.
Thanks Cami!