Jolly Old Nick (Black As Hell)
by C.D. Reimer
Jolly Old Nick was
black as hell, climbing through all
those dirty chimneys.
His old lady calls the cops
because he forgot his key.
Jolly Old Nick was
black as hell, sitting with all
those smelly drunkards.
Still waiting for his phone call,
he held his nose from the smell.
Jolly Old Nick was
black as hell, washing with all
those nude prisoners.
With scrubs of soap and water,
angry old white man appears.
Jolly Old Nick, now
white as hell, walking with all
those falsely accused.
His old lady picks him up,
nags him about being black.
black as hell, climbing through all
those dirty chimneys.
His old lady calls the cops
because he forgot his key.
Jolly Old Nick was
black as hell, sitting with all
those smelly drunkards.
Still waiting for his phone call,
he held his nose from the smell.
Jolly Old Nick was
black as hell, washing with all
those nude prisoners.
With scrubs of soap and water,
angry old white man appears.
Jolly Old Nick, now
white as hell, walking with all
those falsely accused.
His old lady picks him up,
nags him about being black.
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Author's Note
This tanka poem was inspired by the recent Saturday Night Live skit where Santa Claus proclaims that he's black as hell. With all those dirty chimneys he has to climb through, he should be black as hell. If he comes home black as hell, that's a different story.
Other stories by C.D. Reimer
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