"Connecting the dots the past two weeks, I've concluded you're pregnant again. You've been smoking a lot. Eating glass. And worse yet — diet soda. Seriously, do you have any fucking idea how bad diet soda is for you? I mean, punish yourself however you want to but diet soda is an extreme I never imagined you would've entertained."
“Guess what? Totally not with child. Just upset over gaining weight. Guess I'll continue slow death from diet soda.”
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Connecting the dots the past two weeks, I’ve concluded you’re pregnant again.
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"Eating glass. And worse yet - diet soda." You create a lot of character and dynamic in a small space. The theme of self punishment, slow death, and the sweet syrupy seduction of diet soda lingers long after the page. Stylistically, why not have first section in quotation marks too, as I read this as pure dialogue?
Thanks for the kind remark, Emily! Quotation marks not being there was entirely accidental. Fixed.