Forum / "The Greta and Noah Show ... absent Noah."

  • Better.thumb
    Smiley McGrouchpants, Jr-Esq-III
    Sep 06, 02:00am

    "Noah and I have had a fight," Greta said, " ... so I sent him away.

    "Because," and she clears her throat her, starts to primp her hair, sits up in her chair — watch out, she's GATHERING HER THOUGHTS!!!

    "Because — "

    THE END!

    Time's up.
    --------------------------------
    "Hi, I'm Wink Martindale!"
    "And I'm Casey Karem!"
    "And we hope you join us for 'The World's Funniest Bloopers, Practical Jokes and Tracheotomies!!!"

    "But first, a word from Howard Cosell for Gillette™ men's shaving blades ... and then one from Joe Namath, legendary football superstar, for 'o.b.' tampons, for when you have that 'not-so-FRESH' feeling!!!

    "And then, uh, let's SEE — "
    ---------------------------------
    [CLICK!]

    "Mabel!"
    "Leroy, are you watching that tee-VEE again??" (throws DISHRAG over SHOULDER, stands with HANDS on HIPS-posture ... like she's *ready for ANYTHING*, folks!!! And yup — here it COMES:)
    "When'd they cancel 'Hee-HAW'!!!"
    "Oh, Lord — sakes ALMIGHTY!!!" (she starts ROLLING HER EYES and CARRYING ON, flipping the DISHRAG from her shoulder at IMAGINARY *DEMONS* ... and when this LITTLE *DANCE* is over, she SETTLES DOWN and adresses her husband THUSLY:)
    "Leroy, if I had the answer to questions like that ... I'd have won the Novel® Prize, long AGO!!!"

    THE END

    (applause)
    (along with hoots and cries along the lines of "You tell 'em, sister!!!" — à la 'Good Times,' and other crass, tacky shows like THAT ... ;) #WINK )

    "Tonight's program was Produced by Norman Lear ... with Funding from a Grant by the Church of Latter-Day SAINTS!!!

    "And now here's President Jimmy CARTER, with a message about wearing your SWEATER inside to use less HEAT, and save on your UTILITY *BILL* ...

    "Jimmy??"

    (cut to: President CARTER, wearing a blue-and-green mixed-therein SWEATER ... it looks like, it MUST be, a Christmas™ sweater, it just looks so GOOFY!!!)

    "Turn it DOWN!!!" he says, making a MOTION towards the camera like on a TV dial ...

    "Just ... turn it DOWN!!!" (again.)

    "Thank you." (he FOLDS his hands, across his CHEST)

    "And God Bless.

    "And don't forget Gillette™ RAZORS!!!"

    ;)

    #WINK

    —finis.—

    (LIGHTS OUT)

    THE END ... for *REAL*!!!

    (Ferris BUELLER comes OUT, addresses AUDIENCE:)

    "What are you still DOING here — "

    [CLICK!]

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