Forum / "I'm all out of love! I'm so lost WITHOUT *YOU* -- "

  • Better.thumb

    "Leroy, I'm not a hallucination, like out of one of those AI programs! Last night you called me 'Isabel,' in your sleep!"
    "Thank God -- it was just a DREAM!"


    (ANNOUNCER'S VOICE:) "Has this ever happened to you?

    "Are you goddamned stupid?

    "Do you watch too much TV?"


    "Vote DeSantis! He's taking books out of our libraries, and the word 'gay' out of our Christmas Carols -- so you'll probably need a LOT of *HELP*!"

    Paid for: By the Church of Latter-Day Saints. And the Heritage Foundation. And Halliburton. And the Cato Institute. And Charles Koch, himself -- or is he the dead one? Which one's DEAD? It's so hard to keep track --

    "It's so HARD -- "

    "Hi! I'm Bob Dole! Guess what I got?





    "For Chills, Thrills, and Bellyaches[*; see below]!"

    "Boners -- for gents, with ... uh ... what's the cue card say?"


    "PAID -- for ... by the ... CHURCH ... of LATTER-DAY -- "

    (he cuts off, ABRUPTLY)

    "Boy, that's a NEW *ONE* on *ME* ... "

    (he lapses into a reverie)

    "Back during WWII, they gave us CONDOMS to keep our BAYONETS dry when we LANDED ... not that I fought much ... or saw much ACTION ... I was more of a PAPER-PUSHER, myself ... "

    (descends into muttering, and ranting -- GRANDPA SIMPSON-style)

    "Cut! People, I think we got it! It's a WRAP!!!"


    [*] The Happy Mondays, from the early '90s, "Madchester" scene -- and remember, folks: "Don't forget to BLOW me!!!"

    Pills 'N' Thrills And Bellyaches (Collector's Edition)
    Happy Mondays

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