Recently I met a film director who was interested in filming me doing some spoken word - here is the result - it was filmed in HD so the audio is rather loud - turn down your speakers and adjust as needed - enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7iDKkOW4do&feature=player_embedded
Brentley
I went back and looked at a few of your videos - being a believer poems should be heard aloud as you are doing. Here are my comments.
You have an accent. Hence be very careful of your modulation and your diction.
Don't smoke in a video. The associated motions are too distracting.
You may already read at Slams but if you don't you should. Let me give you a reason. I happen to like Mark Strand. I dislike hearing him read. Too many of the more "serious" poets like Mark fall into some kind of "rhythm" that doesn't project the power of their work well enough. The Slammers have a more visceral delivery. Some of them write stuff I don't like but I like to hear them read.
I thought your idea of running key phrases in the background on your Helen was a good one.
I liked the camera work which I did think added a little dynamisim.
You do nice stuff and this is only one opinon and only from a Yank (ie. discount the accent thing appropriately)
You might want to try for more snap in your melancholy. Less of a depressed melancholy and more of a pissed off melancholy.
I'm no effing critic and so this is the best I can do. Hope it sparks some thoughts.
Larry S
PS As a poet I would rank myself right up there with all the very worst. Evaluate accordingly.