Forum / Open Letter FROM Fiddleback

MaryAnne Kolton
Sep 03, 07:26pm

Sep 03, 07:11pm

Dear MaryAnne Kolton,

I was going to handle your complaint (yes, it’s a complaint) with a professional and private email, but since you felt the juvenile need to trash-talk us on Fictionnaut, I figured I’d give you a full account of the story in question while also giving the forums a peek behind the editorial curtain. We all love a spectacle, right?

First, the timestamp of your rejection: Just as Susan Tepper suspected (thanks, Susan) no one on staff is paid for his or her time. The Fiddleback does not have sponsors, we don’t sell ads (yet), and we have zero benefactors. Every month I take a personal financial loss to keep our magazine up and running. Since my editors are unpaid, they work on their own schedule, meaning if a submission comes in while they’re in the system, as was the case with your story, then it’s very likely they’ll read it, and, if it doesn’t give them that punched-in-the-throat feeling, reject it immediately. Your story came in, and my editor disliked and dismissed it after the first paragraph because the writing was tame, predictable, and boring. I can understand how the short turnaround might sting, but it’s a hell of a lot better than holding your story for 6-8 months before sending you a form rejection in the mail, which may never arrive.

As for our overwhelming sexism, I find it interesting that while you’re quick to point out that all fiction editors are male, you conveniently ignore the fact that our literary editorial staff is split 50/50 by gender. You see, when you can’t pay editors a salary, you rely on staffing your magazine with friends and colleagues who want to edit because they love the work. My real crime is that I pulled an Andrew Jackson and hired friends, a spouse, and former classmates to help steer the ship because I trusted their aesthetic judgments and knew, as friends, they’d want to help me succeed in starting a magazine. But I’m sure this fact never occurred to you, just as you’re seemingly unaware that while we may have published more male fiction in Issue 5 (we’re still in our inaugural year), we’re pretty balanced on all other fronts. Let’s be real, MaryAnne. We’re not sexist. If anything, we’re ageist. If you really wanted to make us feel like a bunch of misogynist frat boys, you should have at least pointed out that our music section is a veritable sausage-fest staffed with not one, not two, but four men all in their 30s and most of them sporting beards. Don’t let that positive Beyonce review fool you. They’re all manly men who moonlight as lumberjacks.

But I guess to catch all those details you would’ve had to actually think about the situation and investigate further. Had you gone all Sherlock Holmes on our ass, you would’ve also discovered that we rejected your husband, Mr. James Lloyd Davis (the man with the papa-Hemingway beard pretending NOT to be your spouse in the comments above) the day after we rejected your story. If his bio is true and he’s not only a Vietnam veteran, but also a “former electrician, shipfitter, pipefitter, boilermaker, ironworker and engineer,” that’s pretty manly stuff to get rejected by us. I’ll talk to our deck-stacking team and make sure all cogs and gears are in working order.

Just out of curiosity, what was it about our magazine, specifically, that made you think we even care about politics in the first place? Had you actually read our guidelines or spent time reading what’s been published---had you even LOOKED at our site, I think you would’ve seen and easily understood that we don’t give a shit about politics. We publish work that moves us in the moment. Period. Yours, my dear, did not. My suggestion is to spend less time trolling on the internet and more time on your craft---you know, doing what writers are supposed to do: write. I guarantee this method will improve your chances of getting published twofold.

I tell ya, MaryAnne, I’m going to hate losing you as a reader, especially when you hear about all the great women writers we’ve got slated for Issue 6. Maybe one day we’ll make nice and be friends, and you’ll continue to love our magazine. Until that day, please do your homework before ranting on the internet again, and do spend more time writing. We’re all waiting in anticipation.

Warmly,

Jeff Simpson
Found/EIC, The Fiddleback

PS: Unlike the IRS, we don’t report all of our numbers to Duotrope. I don’t why you think they’re such an authority, but they’re not. They’re helpful, but not absolute. Any editor will tell you the same.

PPS: James, I meant no personal insult with my “papa-Hemingway” reference. In all honesty, I think you have a magnificent beard. I’m a little jealous. Truly.

MaryAnne Kolton
Sep 03, 07:53pm

Jeff,

I'm hoping your holiday weekend is peaceful and brings you much joy. . .

MaryAnne

Jeff Simpson
Sep 03, 08:26pm

MaryAnne,

I'm afraid this little shame move won't work. I linked the previous thread to our Facebook page for all to see. You can't call an opponent's bluff if he/she's not bluffing. Just remember: You're the one who brought the issue into the public sphere and titled your thread "An Open Letter," which invites response. I simply gave you what you asked for.

I hope you have a good weekend as well.

Best,

Jeff

James Lloyd Davis
Sep 03, 08:53pm

Jeff is a scary guy. Obviously he wants to crush you, MaryAnne.

James Lloyd Davis
Sep 03, 08:55pm

As for me ... Don't apologize to me, Mister Simpson. Maybe you meant no disrespect with the Hemingway reference, but the intimations you made about my bio, to whit:

"...If his bio is true and he’s not only a Vietnam veteran, but also a “former electrician, shipfitter, pipefitter, boilermaker, ironworker and engineer,” that’s pretty manly stuff to get rejected by us. I’ll talk to our deck-stacking team and make sure all cogs and gears are in working order."

I consider that just a tad insulting. ...If my bio is true?... What's that about?

Judging by the tenor of your letter, though, and the threat you just made, I don't think you much care what I think or whether I consider your wording insulting.

As for pretending NOT to be MaryAnne's husband? Most people on this site already know I'm her husband.

Whatever. You couldn't know that, could you. Anyway, I'm done.

No ... one more thing. Opinions are just that, but if the data fits ... wear it, or make a cogent case against it. You could have made your case for why the concept of bias doesn't fit YOUR magazine without insulting MaryAnne, but you probably felt justified attacking her personally because, after all, you're defending the honor of your magazine. Sounds like you did the job with all the maturity and elegance you possess.

Of course, if the argument and your threat does come off as a bit immature and petty because of its tone, then you only weaken your position.

Now I'm done.

Linda Simoni-Wastila
Sep 03, 11:55pm

Well, I didn't know JLD loved MLK ;^)

Then again, I just figured out MP loves DB. Call me dense. Or maybe I just don't hang out at the apple tree. Peace...

Linda Simoni-Wastila
Sep 03, 11:55pm

Oops, should've been MAK (better not be an MLK in there). Peace...

James Lloyd Davis
Sep 04, 12:11am

MP? DB?

Jim V
Sep 04, 12:26am

I'm sorry, MaryAnne, but you've been extremely unprofessional about this. You and JLD should stop now.

MaryAnne Kolton
Sep 04, 12:30am

Ha! Yes, James, you are most reliably correct, , , ,

MaryAnne Kolton
Sep 04, 12:34am

Yes, I know these long weekends are boring for some who love to stir the pot, but may I suggest that you all trek on over to Thomas Pluck's invitation on the forum to write a short piece that will benefit some truly needy children?
http://www.fictionaut.com/forums/general/threads/1269

Jim V
Sep 04, 01:00am

Stirring the pot? I got 4 rejections *Monday*. I've gotten at least 3 from The Fiddleback over the last year. I've had hundreds over my lifetime. Guess how many threads I started about the "bias" against me, here or anywhere else.

That's right. Zero.

You not only started the first, which I left alone, but then went and started *another.* So here it is-- the attention you wanted...

It's unprofessional, MaryAnne, to attack editors who reject you politely. Whether you mean it or not, it stinks of arrogance. It's like saying, "How can anyone say no to me except that they are frat boys and sexist losers?"

As if it's the norm for frat boys to double as lit editors between panty raids and downing brewskis. Most editors are probably *too* concerned with balancing certain groups, rather than letting the lit world be the meritocracy it should be.

You're new at this writing business. I've been successful at it for over 20 years. If you want to still be around that long, I suggest you reread what Jeff said and take it to heart.

MaryAnne Kolton
Sep 04, 01:29am

Ah, James.

I never meant to incur your wrath. I thought we had kissed and made up - or at least made up. I agree that it is not professional to attack editors who reject our work. I was having a terrible mother of a day and their rejection was sort of like the straw that broke the camel's back. Know what I mean?

At this point any left over resentment against Jeff is centered only in the fact that he attacked me personally in the cause of defending his magazine and that he stooped to implying that JLD might have falsified his bio. Another personal attack.

I made the only response I intend to make to Jeff.

If he chooses to continue to rant that is his right. JLD gets furious when anyone is impolite to me in any way - as I'm sure you would be were someone to speak about your wife on an unkind personal level. He is perfectly capable of waging his own wars.

I have no argument with you. In fact, I miss seeing your work here. And this is going to be my last word on this subject.

Have a lovely weekend.

MaryAnne

Jim V
Sep 04, 01:45am

MaryAnne,

No wrath. I'm gruff sometimes, but I really am looking out for your best interests.

I understand you being upset about Jeff's humorous jabs-- hell, I understand you being upset about the rejection-- but you did insinuate the man was a sexist and a frat boy and so on. That's personal also. It's hard to cry foul when you started the game.

I hope JLD lets it go too. It's better for all involved if this just drops, a lesson learned.

I hope your weekend goes well also. Try to get some good writing done. Believe me, that's always the best revenge. :)

Jim

PS: I was just taking he summer off from posting stuff. I'll probably start again in a week or so.

Susan Tepper
Sep 04, 01:53am

Valvis to the rescue. He is a ghost here until there is some controversy then the great writer James Valvis steps up to tell "the little women" of Fictionaut how it's done. Well whoopee. What a guy! What a wonder! Joy to the world!

Susan Tepper
Sep 04, 02:11am

James Valvis to MaryAnne Kolton: "Whether you mean it or not, it stinks of arrogance."
STINKS OF ARROGANCE??? Who talks this way???
What chutzpah!!!
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