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EATING A BAG O' GOAT DICKS, ON MY FRONT PORCH, WITH WILFORD BRIMLEY by Dick Cheney


by Smiley McGrouchpants



               "Man, the time I ate a bag of goat dicks on my front porch with Wilford Brimley — that I'll never forget!  He had just come up from shooting one of those Quaker Oats™ commercials — or maybe it was Cocoon, I can't remember; those years are kind of hazy, I was drinking a lot — and I had just came back to Wyoming to 'prove' to people I lived there, even though most residents didn't know I was their senator, and I tended to divert 'pork' funding away from the state, to serve my own interests.  He came up the wooden steps, and said, 'Are those . . . goat dicks?'  Seeing him say that, with the same baby-blue eyes, white bushy mustache and deep-baritone voice beloved by millions, I wanted to jump up and hug the guy.  But of course I didn't — not that I'm a repressed homosexual, or anything.  Or paranoid.  Or hypersensitive.  And, ah . . . "

                                                            TNE EHD[1]







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[1] Typos are tragedies when they happen to the struggling, young(-ish) author.  Please don't hurt his feelings by mocking him for it, just because he can't type.  Or spell.  — ed.








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