Dick Cheney Confessionals

               "I knew Ed McMahon back when he was a nobody, before Johnny Carson, when he was sucking dicks for money in Greyhound® bus-station bathrooms.  'Ed,' I said, 'how could you sink so low?'  'Oh, I don't mind,' he replied.  'You don't mind?'  'Naw, it gets me out of the house when the wife has her "B-I-N-G-O" night, and, besides,' he pulled his handkerchief from his jacket pocket and started wiping off his mouth, 'I like to contribute my share to paying some of the rent!'  'Ed, listen,' I says, 'I know this Johnny Carson guy, he's looking for a second banana . . . you don't mind being a second banana, do ya, Ed?'  He grinned from ear to ear, all cleaned up.  'Where do I sign?'"