Not Again!

AP — Reuters
Dec. 17, 2010

DANDY WARHOLS FRONTMAN COURTNEY TAYLOR-TAYLOR UNDERGOES YET ANOTHER NAME CHANGE



PORTLAND, OR — Courtney Taylor-Taylor (née "Courtney Taylor") of the "alternative/punk-ass-bitch" rock group The Dandy Warhols has announced he's changing his name (again).

"People just weren't getting it," the aggressively sham singer/guitarist/songwriter said to this reporter, before taking a swig from his brown-bagged bottle of port wine and belching. "It was too SUBTLE, or something," he continued, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and hiccuping mildly. "It looks like it's time to UP the ANTE!"

As such, the aforementioned Courtney Taylor-Taylor will henceforth be known as Courtney Taylor-Taylor-Taylor-Taylor.

"It's like, you say it with a beat, you know?" the half-sauced hipster told me, before becoming momentarily distracted by a passing bird and continuing. "You know?"

(The italic rendering of the third "beat," is, apparently, now part of the "correct" spelling of the Dandykins's new moniker. When I questioned a clerk at Oregon DMV if he had gone as far to make the name-change "official," she rolled her eyes and replied: "OH yes. It's official.")

Similarly, the band itself plans to start calling themselves The Namby-Pamby Handy-Dandy Warhols, staring with their next release, Completely Fucking Worthless & Useless Shit, which is coming out this January on Portland's Poseurfuck Records label.

The world, meanwhile, will apparently keep spinning on its axis. The mind boggles.