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I Kicked Your Dog


by Samuel Derrick Rosen


I kicked your dog,
Yes I did,
I kicked your dog
I kicked your dog
 
Because it urinated on my Afghan rug
It bit my maid and it ate my frog
It defecated on Shakespeare's sonnet,
barked at my psychedelic parrot,
salivated over Norman Mailer's bust,
snapped at my schizophrenic scientist.
 
I kicked your dog,
Yes I did,
I kicked your dog
I kicked your dog
 
Because it licked its lips in front of me
and ruined my sweet cacophony.
Because it was insolent to my ceramic Siamese cat,
my homing pigeon and my talking rat
Because it snarled at my china hippopotamus
My modern day urban Mephistopheles
 
You should have had it on a very tight leash
You should have left it outside at least
You should have tied it to my cast iron fence
or better still,
you should have left it at home.
You should have used some sense.
 
And now it is late,
in the summer's autumn afternoon,
the tea gone cold
and the sugar gone hard,
Funny how there seems to be
some kind of pretentious fog
and still you wait to listen,
to repetition's tune.
Inside this cultural hold,
above this icon, beneath that bard,
 
I kicked your dog
Oh yes I did
I kicked your dog
I kicked your dog.
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