The Man Who Lived in a Shoe

by Peter Cherches

There once was a man who lived in a shoe. He didn't have any children. He didn't have a wife either. It was a pretty small shoe, so there was just enough room for the man. There wasn't room for any furniture, just the cushioned insole he used for a bed. He didn't have a kitchen or a bathroom because even if there were enough room it would be pretty hard to find a shoe that has plumbing.

So this guy must have been hungry and dirty all the time, right? Not at all. The man's best friends lived in the house right next door to his shoe. They were happy to let him cook in their kitchen and use their bathroom whenever he needed to. The man's friends were named Mr. and Mrs. Newhouse.

The man in the shoe's name was Moe Foote. You probably think it's funny that a guy named Mr. Foote would live in a shoe. Well, his name was precisely the reason he lived in a shoe.

When he was a kid the other kids were always saying, "Hey Foote, you belong in a shoe." At first he got annoyed any time some kid said it, because you can't help what your last name is. At least if you have a silly first name you can blame your parents, but even they had no choice about their last names.

Eventually, however, Moe began to feel differently. You might think he was a little crazy, but all of a sudden he started saying to himself, "Perhaps my name is my destiny. Maybe I was meant to live in a shoe."

As soon as he was old enough to live on his own, Moe bought the shoe and moved into it. Luckily he quickly made friends with the Newhouses. He found a job in an office that he liked a lot, and he was able to save lots of money, because it's pretty cheap to live in a shoe.

Then one day Moe Foote got some terrible news. His friends, Mr. and Mrs. Newhouse, told him they were moving.  "We've lived in this house for ten years," Archie Newhouse told Moe.  "When we moved here the house was brand new. Now it's ten years old. That's pretty old as far as I'm concerned.  You can't stay in an old house if your name is Newhouse."

Moe Foote tried to make friends with his new neighbors, but they weren't interested in having a total stranger invading their kitchen and bathroom at all hours.

So you're probably thinking this story has an unhappy ending. I'll bet you think Moe became all dirty and smelly and hungry and even lost his job because of it. Well you're wrong!

Once Moe discovered he couldn't count on his new neighbors to keep up the old arrangement he left the shoe and moved into a nice new apartment.

I never said he was stupid.