A Man Who Was Always a Man

by Peter Cherches

            There once was a man who never was a boy, or even a baby. He was born a full-grown man. The doctors and nurses at the hospital were flabbergasted when the man's mother gave birth. Not only was the newborn a full-grown man, he was wearing a suit and a hat. When the obstetrician slapped the man on the behind he felt something strange—it was a wallet in the back pocket of the newborn man's suit pants. The doctor pulled the wallet out of the man's pocket. Inside the wallet the doctor found a driver's license. It turned out that the man's first name was George, and his last name, of course, was the same as that of his parents. When the doctor told the man's parents about this they were very upset. “We had our hearts set on Marvin,” they told the doctor.

            George's parents gave him up for adoption because his name wasn't Marvin, and George had to get a new driver's license because he now had a different last name. Otherwise, they all lived happily ever after.