Why They Cried: Jisette

by Jim Hanas

Cause: News of actor's nuptials

While many women (and some men) cried at the news of the actor's nuptials, none cried more than Jisette, a beautiful and famous actress. But then she had enjoyed opportunities not available to the non-beautiful, non-famous members of the actor's constituency. There was that long weekend spent lazing around a suite at the Beverly Wilshire between the Golden Globes and the Oscars with the suddenly now married actor, and then there was Cabo. This was before the current thing and before the thing before the current thing. 
So it was understandable, if extremely difficult to understand (us not being her), that the actress would angle her bronzed legs slightly to the left and ground her inline skates in the sand at Venice Beach upon hearing the news, and that she would then visibly claw at her halter top, dig her French nails into her calves, and cry, causing tourists who might otherwise have done so to refrain from taking pictures of her with their telephones.  

Tomorrow: "Why They Cried: Roy"