Munchausen's By Sick Time

I am not an attention-seeker. I am not one of those hideous mothers who poisons their children in order to take them to the hospital and have the doctors be impressed by how doting they are on their mysteriously ill children. I love my babies. I take excellent care of them. But, you know, even the healthiest young children with the most excellent mothering get sick. A lot. Especially with everyone else who works like I do trying to sneak their children into daycare on days when the kids have fevers and coughs.

I work full time on an assembly line in a box factory. I have a limited amount of sick time and I can't afford to take off unpaid time, so if I'm sick, even dead with the flu, I swallow extra Motrin, cough syrup, Sudafed, lots of coffee and maybe a couple of Vicodin and get through the damn day seeing double. I will never waste my sick time on my own sicknesses unless I am in a coma. I need to save those precious few hours of paid time off for when the kids are sick, because they are sick so much just their illnesses use up my sick time benefit. Anyone else in my situation knows how exhausting, dizzying and painful it is to go to work when you are sick. Working in a factory in general is hard physical labor. So -- and I am deeply ashamed to admit this -- when my children get sick I am happy. It is a day off and I get to dote on them and cool their sweet feverish heads and snuggle patiently. It is the only time I feel like a good mother.