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People Have Been Shot For Less


by Chris Okum



The Apostles were sitting in the Upper Room when Jesus appeared to them. When Thomas showed up later the Apostles gave him the good news. “I don't believe it,” said Thomas. “But it's true,” said the Apostles, “Jesus was here. We witnessed his return.” Thomas waved off the Apostles, signifying his disbelief. It was his signature move, the waving away of new information. The Apostles were used to it, even if it never failed to irk them. A few days later the Apostles were sitting in the Upper Room when Jesus appeared to them again, an event the Apostles relayed to Thomas the moment he showed up around supper time. “Look,” said Thomas, “I don't believe you. You're trying to trick me and I don't like it.” The Apostles asked Thomas what kind of evidence he would need in order to believe the good news. “I will believe He has returned,” said Thomas, “when He lifts up his robe and sits on my face.” Thomas waved off the Apostles and left the Upper Room. When Thomas returned the next day the Apostles were sitting quietly, their heads bowed in silence, for Jesus had once again reappeared and was standing in the corner of the room. “I don't believe it,” said Thomas. Jesus made a motion with his hand and Thomas laid down on the floor. Jesus walked over to Thomas (actually, it was more of a float), stood over him, lifted up his robe, and squatted directly down onto Thomas' face. "You believe now," said Jesus, "don't you?" Thomas nodded vigorously. Jesus winced with more than just a touch of pleasure. "Figures," said the Apostles. "Doubters have all the fun."

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