Unused Snippets from Band Bios

by Boudreau Freret

"The vocals croon gossamer goodness reminiscent of Rob Zombie..." 

"If you like William Hung, you'll love this band..."

"If you aren't a snot-bubble-blowing mess - sobbing for your mommy - by the end of the first song, then chances are you're already dead."

"Deluged by auditory MDMA, women of all ages remove their clothes and touch the band during live performances..."

"Seriously - look at these promo shots and tell me they wouldn't kick your ass. Except maybe the drummer..."

"The band's debut CD is the first aphrodisiac approved by the FDA."

"Though thrice tried by jury, the bass player has never been convicted!"

"... the band's first studio album in almost thirty years, Never Mind the Drool will have you rocking in your chair..."