"Tommy and the Australia-Shaped Scab"
“Sammy's Soggy Sheets”
“Seen and Not Heard”
“Our Mommy Angelina, Volumes 1 - 47”
“The Fabulous World of Streisand — A Boy's Guide to Babs”
“Why Daddy Drinks”
“Mommy Still Loves Daddy, But Her Girlfriend Meets Her Needs”
“Objections to the Theory of Gravity”
“You are the Biggest Obstacle to Your Success. Well, Other than Uncle Charlie.”
“What The Church Doesn't Want You to Know About the Flying Spaghetti Monster”
"You Shouldn't Even Bother"
"I Know What I Said, and I'm Doing the Best that I Can - Now Sit Down and Shut the Hell Up"
“Broken Dreams and Rigged Tickets: An Exposé of Corruption Within the Chuck-E-Cheese Empire”
“Snoop Dog in His Own Words”
“Playing Well With Others” (ghost written for Eminem)
“Maintaining Your Poise and Decency Online” (ghost written for Paris Hilton)
“Coping With Adults Who Just Won't Go the Fuck Away: The Jay Leno Story”
“RateMyProfessor.com for Kindergartners”
"The Basic Text of Alcoholics Anonymous - In Pictures"
“Emancipation for Dummies”
"The Scratch-N-Sniff Book of Infected Owies"
“The Achy Breaky Truth About Hanna Montana's Secret Shame: Billy Ray Cyrus”
“Getting What You Want For Christmas: A Beginner's Guide To Shooting and Editing Home Video for Extortion”
“Kevin, Nick, and Joe: Lovers, Not Brothers”
“Setting the Knife Down — When Haldol is Right for You”
“Checking for an Adam's Apple: Lessons Learned the Hard Way by Meeting Jillian Michaels”
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Fair Warning: This is the sort of drivel you can expect if you follow me on Twitter.