Discussion → Deborah's Before
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Deborah, could you start out with some context and what kind of feedback you are looking for. Everyone will have a thread for their work. What's your goal for the piece and how many sections do you expect?
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Everything positive people say is true, but I'm confused. Is Ruby a single mother and where are her kids when she's out? Are there just two and how old are they: 'why isn;t Samantha eating? I'd like a better balance between home and bar life and whether she works and how the hell she has time to spend leisurly in a bar and why is she so horny rather than cautious as a mother. I'd like to see them texting and calling and bugging her at the bar and then ignoring her at home. I'd like to see more integration. And where does she get her money? This seems too fractured to me. But you can ignore me. Just my thoughts. gg
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Ruby is a single mother. She turns tricks for a living. She is obviously very fucked up, and there may be a back story as to why these guys kidnapped her kids, there may not. If yes, then I am looking to unearth and reveal that as the narrative continues. It should be a bit of a mystery to the reader, and a psychological unfolding of her traumatized state as the narrative develops.
The plot begins after her kids were unexpectedly taken during a drunken evening. She called the police, and then she was taken in for questioning. This relationship is beginning with this cop who is not quite above board himself. She is out with him, because her kids are missing and she is in shock. There is no leisure here. He is stepping in to console her, or something. They are both damaged souls, drawn to one another during an extreme circumstance.
There is no balance. "Home life" is a relative concept for this family. She feeds her kids hot dogs and fruit loops. Her daughter isn't eating because... well, this situation is a well of dysfunction. I think her kids are about 5 and 7. I haven't yet decided if they get killed in this story.
I am definitely exploring some dark terrain here. I do not intend this to be a rosy picture. My goal with the story is to establish each of these characters at an extremely low point in their lives, and how in a weird, fucked up way, their coming together brings some measure of redemption to each of them.
I am interested in the narrative of characters who are down at the lowest place they could be at, and then, by some form of grace, are given an opportunity to redeem themselves. My goal is to create characters who, although they each do reprehensible things, are somehow able to induce a sense of compassion in us, the readers, and are somehow able to find some measure of love, however imperfect with one another.
I think that's a good place to start...
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Oh, and I'm not sure exactly how many sections to expect in total. I have three written already. The first two are fairly intact (although I can already see some edits forming in my head from your questions, Gloria) and the third needs some considerable work. Beyond that, I think the arc I'm imagining will require at least three or more additional sections, but until I get a better handle on the back story questions, I won't be sure...
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Wikipedia:
Charles Dicken's novels, most published in monthly or weekly instalments, pioneered the serial publication of narrative fiction, which became the dominant Victorian mode for novel publication.[4][5] The installment format allowed Dickens to evaluate his audience's reaction, and he often modified his plot and character development based on such feedback
We've all seen them scattered among the flash fiction, these "little" segments of "enormous" stories trying to pass for small. I admit I've tried to do it myself with a story I really, really want read but no one here will read 7000 pages. It took a lot of work to change the serial format which to me is more readable and accessible.
Anything longer than 1500 words a section is verboten and has plenty of place on groups for longer stories and novel excerpts. Not here. Not among these flash fiction pieces linked together by a theme, but which can also stand alone.
Just as flash and microfiction are tiny stories that tell a life and are self-contained, so are the "sections" of the flashes in these linked serial stories. They are linked, but they each carry within them the whole of a story. This is not, in contrast, a "chapter book." It fits the Fictionaut model perfectly.
--Gloria Garfunkel
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