Discussion → uhhh... eeeek!

  • Fictionaut.thumb
    Meg Pokrass
    Sep 26, 12:01pm

    On Tuesday afternoon I line up with other petite brunette actresses, silently, our eyes underlined with dark liner.

    This is Pounds Across America, now how to link, uh...

    http://www.fictionaut.com/stories/meg-pokrass/pounds-across-america


  • Fictionaut.thumb
    Meg Pokrass
    Sep 26, 12:41pm

    sorry to have said eeeek. anyway, i hope i did this right. this is a cool idea.


  • Raven.thumb
    Andrew Bowen
    Sep 26, 03:00pm

    I can see where this is going and the tension is there. Indeed, I want to know where we are going and what we are waiting for. A little something though, the word "line" is present three times in this sentence. Was this intentional?


  • Wonder3close.thumb
    Arlene Tribbia
    Sep 27, 09:08am

    Hi Meg,

    I'm going for the link to your story right now to read the rest of this. So, great first line!


  • Fictionaut.thumb
    Meg Pokrass
    Sep 27, 02:28pm

    Thank you Andrew, good catch, it was intentional (i could lie!)

    I know it's odd, but i wanted the piece to start out with the oppressive sense of a chorus line, or a line of cattle, and that is why i took that risk.



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