Discussion → How's this...

  • Raven.thumb
    Andrew Bowen
    Sep 25, 12:21pm

    These are the first lines of a novella I'm currently editing called Ink:

    “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” Quinton said and looked down the slope of Leavenworth Street.

    Tori slid the key into the lock. “Don’t be a pussy. You said you wanted to do this.”

    “Yeah but—”

    The lock clicked open.

    Tori smirked over her shoulder at Quinton. “Too late.”


  • Wonder3close.thumb
    Arlene Tribbia
    Sep 25, 06:09pm

    What a swift opening. The situation is compelling and grabs the reader for sure. Who wouldn't want to know what these two are up to and what Tori is unlocking? Do you have the rest posted elsewhere?

    Thanks for sharing, Andrew.


  • Raven.thumb
    Andrew Bowen
    Sep 25, 07:24pm

    Thanks! No, I'm still working on a page or two of the first chapter and then it's off to submissions.


  • Wonder3close.thumb
    Arlene Tribbia
    Oct 01, 07:47pm

    Don't revise the life force out of it!


  • Raven.thumb
    Andrew Bowen
    Oct 01, 11:36pm

    Ha! I'll try not to. It's more of an addition issue than anything else. There needed to be more meat between this beginning and the "some time later" scene that follows it.


  • Fictionaut.thumb
    Meg Pokrass
    Oct 05, 01:05pm

    This got me, immediately! Great opening!



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