Forum / The Trials of Jose Feliciano

• 
  Chris Okum

  Jan 01, 06:26pm

  "Are you sure this is okay?"
  "I'm positive. I put an extra Tuinal in his sangria."
  "Wait, no, leave your dress on."
  "Hey, man, this is expensive."
  "But I like it that way."
  "You better not rip it. I swear to God."
  "Shouldn't we go in another room?"
  "No. We stay in here."
  "In front of Jose?"
  "Yep. That's the way I like it."
  "What if he wakes up?"
  "I'm telling you, he won't."
  "But what if he does?"
  "Then start speaking in Japanese."
  "I don't know Japanese."
  "Neither do I. But it will buy us some time."
  "I think he's awake."
  "That's impossible."
  "I'm telling you."
  "You want me to take off his sunglasses?"
  "No, don't."
  "Look. See? Does he look awake to you?"
  "He looks dead."
  "Trust me, he's not dead."
  "I don't know."
  "You don't know what?"
  "If I can do this."
  "Why not?"
  "Because. I mean, that's Jose Feliciano."
  "And?"
  "And I have a soft spot for 'Feliz Navidad.' My mom used to sing that to me when I was a kid."
  "The whole song?"
  "Yes."
  "Your mom knows all the lyrics to 'Feliz Navidad?'"
  "Yes."
  "Why?"
  "She was a schoolteacher."
  "Oh."
  "Hey, hey, hey. His eyes moved."
  "Don't worry. He's just dreaming."
  "What do you think he's dreaming about?"
  "What he always dreams about. Driving."
  "What's he driving when he's dreaming?"
  "A tank. He dreams he's driving a tank through town. Destroying cars. Flattening people. But he's still blind in his dreams. He can't see himself driving the tank. He can only hear himself driving the tank. He hears the crunching of metal and the blood-curdling screams. He says they are the most beautiful sounds he's ever heard. He calls it 'God's Symphony.' "
  "I thought he was peaceful. I thought Jose Feliciano liked people. I thought he liked me."
  "He does. As long as he can't see you."
  "Let's not do this."
  "Maybe I should put on some music. Set the mood a little."
  "No, no, no. You'll wake him up."
  "How's about a little 'Light my Fire?'"
  "The Doors?"
  "No, Jose's version. I think it's much sexier."
  "Why am I doing this?"
  "Because you want me."
  "But I don't want to hurt Jose Feliciano."
  "That comes with the package."
  "Why do you want to hurt Jose Feliciano?"
  "Because he's always bossing me around. I'm tired off it. 'Open the door.' 'Turn on the shower.' 'Get my shoes.' 'Make my dinner.' He can't do anything for himself. I have to do everything."
  "But he's blind. He can't see. He needs someone to help him."
  "And that's me. That's my job."
  "Well, didn't you know that when you first met him?"
  "Are we going to ball or what?"
  "Ball?"
  "Yeah, ball. That's right. I said ball."
  "I've never heard that word used that way before."
  "Listen. I knew he was blind when I met him, but I didn't know he was blind."
  "There are two kinds of blind?"
  "As a matter of fact there are. There are people who are blind who can see and people who are blind who can't see. I thought Jose was the first. By the time I figured out he was the second it was too late."
  "That's no reason to drug the poor guy and turn him into a cuckold."
  "Are you kidding me? This is nothing. Last week I rearranged all the furniture. Just like Charlie taught me."
  "Charlie who?"
  "Take off your pants."

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