Short, Short, after Two Hours with Raymond Carver

i remember this from both metazen and from your collection. time has always puzzled me and this is an almost perfect prose poem about its passing and about the relics that we create along the way. carver's marvelously captured, too-

This is just wonderful, Sam. I love Carver and think you did him justice here. I love particularly the last scene you paint, with the dog hesitating and looking back.

There's art in this piece as well. Everything captured, got down, held.

I really believe that everything is there, in those small gestures and movements and quiet scenes, Sam. I think i understand wanting to "make more of them that can be made" but there is a substance there already, just by the close attention we afford them. This is lovely. *

Brilliant. And it shows a side of Carver I hadn't thought of or at least put into words. Worms under a rock. Love the image of "the dog, looking back...."

*****

Glad you like this one, Marcus, and remember it. I appreciate your comment here.

Carver is on my short list of absolute must-reads, Susan. Thanks for your comment on the closing scene.

Thanks for reading the piece, David, and for your words.

I did want to press a lot into this moment, Kathy. I'm glad the writing connects for you.

And Jack, I'm glad the piece allows you to see a different side of Carver. Appreciated.

Glad you like the writing, Dennis.

I'm not going to forget this for a long, long time: "...the dog, looking back just once as if to say something, disappears into the woods." So haunting.

"The children walk on, the car finds its drive, and the dog, looking back just once as if to say something, disappears into the woods."

I spend a lot of time in Port Angeles the year after Carver's death (1989)walking the same streets he had walked just to walk them. This is wonderful. feels haunted.

Thanks for the read and comment, Vallie. Haunting is one of my favorite words.

That's a great walk, Meg, and with great purpose. Glad you like this piece.

This makes me think of Wordsworth (is that strange?)
"The world is too much with us / late and soon" *

An interesting connection, Jane. Mistuning of the fractured world maybe? Thanks for the read & comment.

Never was all THAT big on Carver, but I do like this. fav

I'm only big on Carver when I'm breathing, James. Thanks for reading, and glad you like the piece.

Beautiful. To the heart.
*

Love this, Sam - just great *!

I appreciate the read and words, Susan & Marcelle. I'm glad the work connected with you.

I haven't read poetry in a long time. I think the last was a collection by Jim Morrison in 1990. I used to write, and this convinced me to post one of my tragic pieces.

I like this, the vignettes so brief and compelling, translating like the poem itself making me want to know more. Yet I never well.

worth looking back more than once, but of course the dog didn't know that...gentle provocative writing

Glad you like this piece, Ron. I connect as well with the unknowable & unsayable. Hope you'll read more poetry.

Thanks, Beate. I'm pleased that the dog found its presence in this piece. Appreciate the read.

Perfect. Each phrase a priceless jewel.

I appreciate your reading this piece, MaryAnne. Thanks for the comment.

Sheeeesh, Sam. Wow! Real words fail me. Only onomatopeia. I love this piece. "The children walk on, the car finds its drive, and the dog, looking back just once as if to say something, disappears into the woods. The grackles stay on the wire." is perfection. You're THE MAN. Back to Carver I go. *****

Glad you like the closing images work for you, Andrew. Thanks for your words here.

Wonderful words, Sam, put in just the right order, in that way you do so well.

Thanks for your comment on the language in this piece, Foster.

I remember this from reading it at Metazen and loved it there, Sam! And I agree with Foster and the others, the way you arrange your words is arresting. Phrasing is simply stunning. Fantastic work! *

Appreciate your comment about the phrasing in this piece. That's its foundation. Thanks for reading, Robert.

"the car finds its drive" oooohh nice

lovely, sam i am

Thanks, Melissa & Gary, for the comment. Glad you like the piece.

"The grackles stay on the wire."
They sure do! Great piece.
*

Really great stuff here! *

Wanting '... to make more of them than can be made' is something I think a lot about.
How can I use this. What character to give it to, where to weave it in. The usual, I expect. This is beautifully shaped and rich with stuff that makes me think and nod and say yes out loud. I'd missed it until now; thanks for posting, Sam. *

Birds keep migrating to my pages, Bill. Thanks for the comment.

I appreciate the read and comment, Jim. Thanks.

The wanting is the carrot, Mark. What and how to do - Yes. Thanks for your words on the piece.

Lovely. I really enjoy the feeling of robbery in this one--the poignant stolen before even possible.

Dead on, Heather. Glad you like the piece. Thanks for the read & comment.

Great prose poem.

I appreciate the comment, Matthew.

such a nice read. I think Carver would be very proud of you.

Thanks for reading, Estelle. Glad you like the piece.

Carver, I don't know. What you say, you say so very well, with such strength of feeling, I enjoy reading. Yet, like the fool on the hill, I still wanna believe in everything.

I appreciate the comment, J Mykell, and for the read.

fantastic! i just shared it on my facebook wall.

Thanks for the shout, Tantra. Glad you like the piece.

Fantastic stuff. I just linked to it on my blog. I've been talking about Carver on a lit forum somewhere and this text is far more than well.written prose (which it is!), it's also a smart piece of thought about how Carver's work works. Extraordinarily well done.

Appreciate your comment about connecting the piece with process, Marcel. I'm glad you like this work. And thanks so much for the link from your blog.

I've struggled with long, beautiful sentences full of wispy imagery and Carveresque sentences that mean so much with just little words in my own work. As much as I've written sparse prose, this captures Carver's essence so well its scary. Job well done, Sam.

Thanks for the read, Tiffany, and for your comment about the language in this piece. Glad you like it.

Wow. I loved that story. I can't explain why but I love it.

I appreciate the read and words, Greg. Thanks.

"I want to make more out of them than can be made"--love that line.

Thanks for your comment, Jon.

stories that are really no story at all. Yes...that is where the magic happens...and why.

So true, Doug. Hope that works here. Appreciate the read and words.

My favorite German author, Judith Hermann, likes Carver and calls him her strongest influence. So I went and read his work - but was never able to connect with it. His stories left me with the same feeling you describe: "I want to make more out of them than can be made, want to give them substance, do this or that." So, whether you like Carver or not (I'm actually wondering!), thanks for putting this into words!

Ah, so you do like Carver. (Now I read all the comments. Ha!)

And I do like Carver, Maren. Yes. Getting at the impossible - or trying to. That is a huge fascination of mine. Thanks for the read.

Wow! Another total gem. This is like a James McMurtry song or a painting. It's very cinematic. I can visualize all of it so perfectly. They're like characters in a play. I'm also going to have to read some Raymond Carver now. This is the second reference I've come across today. A writer profiled in the current issue of Poets and Writers named one of her children Carver after him. So it's decided! I really like this piece and the form - a lot! *

Thanks, Michael, for the comment about the imagery here. Hope enjoy Carver. He's one of my favorites.

Now I must read some Carver to find the connection you mentioned to my work. This piece provides some clues... :)