21st Century Schizoid Sonnet
by Sam Rasnake
— King Crimson as soundtrack
The rich tableaux —
leaf to forest to wind
in the middle of
concrete and steel
where splintered
promises and broken
chains for puppet jaws
freeze the tongues
above the news tickers
then give way to mantra:
forget the napalm
bring the iPhone
The wars are
in the street
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54 words
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Author's Note
A draft, unpublished. The piece originated while listening to the In the Court of the Crimson King recordings.
Made one change in line 7: "talking heads" to "puppet jaws".
A link to the opening track: https://youtu.be/7OvW8Z7kiws
Other stories by Sam Rasnake
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Anything that invokes the mighty King Crimson - which this fine piece most certainly does - gets a five star rating from me, along with a set of Japan's finest steak knives. *****
Only one query, Sam: could "heads" be replaced with either "jaws" or "mouths"? ("clicking jaws"? "moving mouths"?)--just thinking of 21st century contemporaneity (one century into the quantum era, granted).
Good work.
Love it!
You had me at "leaf to forest to wind" and then kept me enthralled.*
"forget the napalm
bring the iPhone"
Sam, this is the new Rock.*
P.S. I'd love to see those Japanese steak knives.
I'm listening right now. Very effective. First time I've listened to music accompaniment on Fictionaut.
"The wars are
in the street"
King Crimson owes you the additional royalties. Fun stuff!
*
Those closing four lines lock it tight; Well-honed, cuts to the bone.
Yes they are, Sam.
"forget the napalm
bring the iPhone"
Sounds like 21st century Bob Dylan *
*
How did I miss this? Fine work. Unusual and quite interesrting.