Things You Didn't Know, Halloween Edition
The first Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were hand-made by rhesus monkeys.
The Hershey family name comes from an ancestress who was accused of stealing chocolate by the victim sputtering, "Her! She!"
It used to be call Fall Apart, because it's the season when all things do. Marketing removed the "Apart" part.
Early American kids used to receive organ meats for Halloween until the Occupy Halloween protests of 1793.
Pixie sticks contain powder formed from dehydrated ground up fairies that no one believes in.
You still miss Trick or Treating. When you go into Wal-Mart, you can't resist a secret glance at the costume aisle. You'd like to be a fairy princess zombie. Or Charlie Sheen.
The first person to don a Halloween costume was one Ezekiel Frume on his way back from a tryst with Prudence Bledsoe. He borrowed her dress and bonnet and looked better in them than she did.
Candy corn is made of people. People who hate candy corn.
The Hershey family name comes from an ancestress who was accused of stealing chocolate by the victim sputtering, "Her! She!"
It used to be call Fall Apart, because it's the season when all things do. Marketing removed the "Apart" part.
Early American kids used to receive organ meats for Halloween until the Occupy Halloween protests of 1793.
Pixie sticks contain powder formed from dehydrated ground up fairies that no one believes in.
You still miss Trick or Treating. When you go into Wal-Mart, you can't resist a secret glance at the costume aisle. You'd like to be a fairy princess zombie. Or Charlie Sheen.
The first person to don a Halloween costume was one Ezekiel Frume on his way back from a tryst with Prudence Bledsoe. He borrowed her dress and bonnet and looked better in them than she did.
Candy corn is made of people. People who hate candy corn.
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Other stories by Lynn Beighley
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I want so much to believe all this, and to be Charlie Sheen.*
Thank you. I needed smiles today. I don't have a Wal-Mart where I live, but I can imagine the wonder.
i read these through with a straight face: we don't really celebrate halloween in germany. enjoyed the subtle appearance of one of my favorite movies, "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green">soylent green</a>".
I really, really wanna use the name Prudence Bledsoe in a story. By God, I will!
http://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Bledsoe-102
fave
This is way too witty. and all this time I thought the first Reese's Peanut Butter cups were made FROM rhesus monkeys. . . *
totally funny, love it
I have a full supply of Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez costumes if anyone needs one. *
Loved the whole fun of this!
Love the imagination here.
"Candy corn is made of people."
Ha!
Fun piece. Great form.
"You still miss Trick or Treating." My 13-year-old stepson agrees with your sentiments. He's already ogling costumes and uneasily settling for manly electronic cool gadgets instead. This is fun. *
Now Halloween is really scary; I hate candy corn. Great piece, Lynn.
Excellent, super-funny.
Poor Prudence. *
You are so wise! And now I need sugar...
love this is the best way, like ding dong ditch
Does that happen to all people who don't like candy corn? If so, I love them! Can't get enough!
Genius!
Fun! "Pixie sticks contain powder formed from dehydrated ground up fairies that no one believes in."
had to read this tonight...remember these as tweets, great!*
Love the tweetyness of these and the language of the moment. Laughed my ass off, too. Thanks!
i wish i read this before halloween *
Brilliant! I have always adored Halowe'en above all other fests. Wit like this is why.
Very funny. The Occupy Halloween protest section, the whole thing, is hilarious. Organ meats.