by Kathy Fish
It rains all over them. Their hair and their clothes droop. Their bare feet slap the pavement. Droplets cling to their noses. They don't duck and run. These kids. Even their underwear is soaked. The place reeks of manure and corn dogs and Tom Thumb donuts. Wet belly buttons and Tiger Boy and diesel fuel and cows and beer and the breath from nostrils of the World's Smallest Horse.
The one boy's hunched over, trying to light a cigarette and the other says Man, that's the saddest thing I've ever seen. And the exchange student says, Ya! The other boy lugs a large stuffed Homer Simpson whose yellow bleeds onto his shoulder. Look at us, the girl says, we're so unkempt and sorry. We need mothering.
The boys laugh, but the girl's mom said it to her all the time. She remembers her mom's bed in the dining room, under the chandelier and after she was gone, her dad sitting next to it, eating a tenderloin out of a white bag. I'm on empty, the girl says. I want something good. Also, that cigarette looks like a tampon.
They'd spent all their money on the freaks and skee ball and pooled their tickets for the Homer Simpson. The other boy plops him onto the plastic cow outside Estel Hall and leaves him sitting there, slightly askew. The others look at him. What? he says. He was getting heavy.
See that shows what kind of friend you are, the one boy says. He flicks the cigarette and wipes the rain from his face. A lousy fucking friend. Inside the Exhibit Hall the 4H-ers play Crazy Eights and Snap. They're sitting on their coolers full of pop and candy bars and sandwiches. They tip back their caps and laugh. Fans blow and the animals sprawl and blink and fart.
The girl says, I'm cold, let's go in there, but the boys don't listen, except the exchange student, who says Ya! She stands on tip toes, holding his cow-like head in her hands. Let's go in one of the shops and take something. You could get away with it, you're a foreigner. (They all want a dog. The one boy has a cat, but he wants a dog. The girl wants a dog you can carry in your purse and the other boy wants a real dog and he wants the dog to have balls. If they had a dog they wouldn't be here, they'd be someplace better. With their dogs. The exchange student looks at their faces and nods. Dogs!)
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Originally published in Keyhole Magazine.
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"...and the other boy wants a real dog and he wants the dog to have balls." Ha!
This feels so incredibly real.
Sad and innocent at the same time. Lovely.*
Love it, Kathy, as always.
Great story. I particularly like the first paragraph. I had to read it a second time to figure out why I was laughing so much. Very good writing throughout, the action is graphically detailed, making your story almost perfect, as best I can judge. The character reference and identification could be made clearer and more graphic with names and/or images, I felt while reading it.
Thanks, Jen and Jamie and J. Mykell. I've sort of resisted giving these kids names for some reason but will think on it.
Detail, detail, detail. (I'm taking notes, Kathy.) But I don't know about that exchange student. Are you making fun of Norwegians? Should I be insulted? *
Thanks, Jack and no, no, the exchange student is the smartest, best looking and wiliest of the bunch, a typical Norwegian. ;-)
So happy - my first Kathy Fish story for the New Year, loved this! *
Vividly realized with the physical specifics you gather so well. And there's a poignant undertone here, just gently limned in that gives the story an unexpected emotional depth.
A textbook lesson in how to write with specificity and precision. Wonderful!
Why is the last paragraph in parenthesis? No need.
Since all your quotes begin with capital letters, so should the one that begins "man"
Thanks Julie, David and Bill and Bill, good catch, thanks!
I remember this one Kathy. I love the way your story ricochets from one emotion to another. At first the kids, too cool to run out of the rain and referred to with a mock disapproval but affection as "these kids", seem so innocent and young, with their giant stuffed animal. Then we see the image of the girl's mother dying in the dining room. But before we can linger on that sadness, the girl compares the wet cigarette to a tampon. Ha! And I loved the contrast between this group and the 4-Hers.
It's probably just the exchange student and the reference to the "foreigner", but I kept being reminded of That 70's Show. In a good way!
amazing speed here. i like how the dialog drives the piece and how you go back and forth and in and out as with a camera, most notably in the opening and in the ending. like a mini-series. so much for the form - outstanding. as for the content: so american and yet counter cultural, it seems to me. but i'm not sure. i'll read this again, too. wonderful.
Thanks, Jeanne and Marcus!
Just getting to this. I remember when I see your byline zip through the front page, so when I come back with time enough to savor, I can read what you've written. You never disappoint. Never.
Oh man, thank you so much James. I had a feeling you would "get" this one. Appreciate it.
Wonderful, Kathy - so vivid - great, great sense of place. *!
Marcelle, wow, thank you!
ah, the good old country fair, a million good stories there always! This is especially original with all the dog talk and I love the foreign student thrown in there. great as always! ALso like Marcus's comments regarding the American bent to it but so counter cultural, that hit it head on
Really appreciate the lovely comments, Shelagh! I'm glad you like this.
"See that shows what kind of friend you are, the one boy says. He flicks the cigarette and wipes the rain from his face. A lousy fucking friend. Inside the Exhibit Hall the 4H-ers play Crazy Eights and Snap. They're sitting on their coolers full of pop and candy bars and sandwiches. They tip back their caps and laugh. Fans blow and the animals sprawl and blink and fart."
You make this feel so effortless and easy. Almost as if it came whole. Maybe it did. It's a great piece, Kathy. Strong closing.
Oh thanks so much, Sam. This one did come pretty quickly. I know this place. I grew up in a town that every year hosts the National Dairy Cattle Congress and I'm not even kidding you about that. Anyway, thanks for the kind words and I hope you're resting and mending.
This is such a shot at a certain kind of life that it's almost too much to take, kind of unbearable, really, if that makes sense. Remarkable story.
*
Wow, Susan, thanks so much. I really appreciate that.
I think what I love the most about your stories, Kathy, is that they make me want to write--the combination of cadence and story. Other writers who inspire me in that way are Amy Hempel, Pia Z. Erhardt, and Jamaica Kincaid. Oh wait! And Chris Offutt and Denis Johnson, too. Good company! Thanks for this.
Kate, wow, thank you so much! Great company indeed. You are way too kind. I"m glad you like this story.
Kathy, I love "the animals sprawl and blink and fart."
Thanks, Katie!
Wow. Wonderful. There are so many wonders to admire, it's just: read the story. One after another. Rich, right on point. Araby in the 21st century. Love it. Fave.
Catherine, thank you! "Araby in the 21st century" made me smile...
ALWAYS FANTASTIC!!!!
When will we be blessed with a collection of stories?
Wow, thank you, Joshua! I have two collections coming out this year...stay tuned!
Hey, I've been to this fair. I love the kids' conversations and the smells!
Me too. Thank you, Phoebe!
oh, I remember this one! great.
thanks, Meg
I LOVE the opener, the spot-on voices, the choice to go parenthetical at the end. a perfect title to an unforgettable piece.
Aw, Sara, thank you so much. I'm glad you like this one. I also like the parenthetical at the end. Thanks!
Wonderful, Kathy! This is immediately real. *
Kari, thank you!
Such rich writing, so tightly woven. I love how it unfolds.
Thank you, Foster, very much. Happy that you like this.
"If they had a dog they wouldn't be here, they'd be someplace better."
Powerful picture of drifting kids. *
Thanks kindly, Kim!
Such great detail here! The cultural references and convincing dialogue made the story feel all the more real. *
Oh thanks much, Frank! I'm glad you like this story!
Amazing story. The dialogue keeps the piece sunk in the now, with the rest swirling around as sub- and contra- context. The image of the father beside the empty hospital bed, eating a tenderloin from a bag slays me. Peace *
Thanks for this close read, the lovely comments, Linda! I appreciate it.
I love this Kathy, great use of dialogue for lightening pace, driving the story forward, the wonderful, lyrical lightness and poetic imagery, and I rather liked the nameless characters, left more to my imagination. White space. Just a tremendous work! Fav.
Thank you, sir, for these kind words!
Fun, gritty work! The title really resonates. Ya!
Thanks for the terrific comments, Hobie. I appreciate it!
i loved this story. so many great lines (cigarette looking like a tampon), undertones and emotion. bravo.
Hi Len! Thanks very much for the read and comments. Much appreciated.
Reading this made me realize how much I miss reading Kathy Fish stories. How do you do it? Such a great capture of a story...dialogue, characters...wow.
Reading this made me realize how much I miss reading Kathy Fish stories. How do you do it? Such a great capture of a story...dialogue, characters...wow.
Jules, thank you very much!
What a roller coaster. Compelling.
Thank you very much, Beate. I'm glad you liked this.
Well this just about killed me on a Monday morning! Love it, and the title is very appropriate. Also, I like that you didn't name them.
Hey, thank you Kelly Spitzer! It's good to see you here...
Love the pace and that you can/have to re-read it a few times. Thanks for great inspiration.
Thank you for the read, Absent Minded!
Kathy, I read through most of these comments after I read the story and feel I agree most with Marcus' comment about the use of dialogue. The story is full of clear images that invoke this place (in the rain). *
Ann, thank you! It's nice to see you've posted a story, too. Will make some coffee and read...
I'll be gone from Fictionaut for awhile, but wanted to thank everyone for the very kind responses to this story. I really appreciate it!
Loved this!
Fantastic story. Perfect voice and specificity. I'll use this in my classes. *
Thank you kindly, Andrew! My day is made!