by Julie Innis
On the seventh day of their travels, they wander through a gap in the high walls on an avenue between Chelsea and The Village. An ivy-framed plaque reads "Grace Cathedral." Grace defies physics with walls of impossibly large stained-glass windows framed by gray stone hovering in between. The man and woman stand in the shadow of a tall willow; she marveling at this small paradise so close to the City's din, and he wondering why no one else is present counting beads or touching fingers to foreheads and breasts in prayer. Above the carved wooden doors, a stone Virgin beckons with eroded fingertips. But the bolt is drawn, the doors locked. Later, a friend remarks, "I'm surprised you were even allowed through the gate-- a woman was raped and murdered there last night." During dinner, the woman is distracted, trying to piece it all together--the absence of signs, no chalklines or yellow police tape to greet them. How is it, she wants to ask, that such a horror could be swallowed whole so that the next day no mark remains on the cobblestone path or in the hollowed ground beneath the weeping willow? Instead she accepts the plate from her lover, his face a mass of irritation: "don't act like this now." Later she will try to explain her sadness at it all--that nothing remained--why, even snakes give back the bones.
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recently appeared in Echolocation, Issue 9
WOW. Julie -- this is perfect. Every single word, so tight. And all it contains -- the last line.
I'm in awe.
Strong writing, Julie - Wonderful phrsings throughout - "his face a mass of irritation: 'dont' act like this now." ... leading to "even snakes give back bones". Great piece.
Sharp imagery throughout here. The nouns weigh it down just right so you don’t need many adjectives to do the describing. Like Sam, I love the last line.
Yeah, this is strong, strong writing that creates a definite atmosphere. The last sentence is excellent, but so are all the other sentences. I marvel at the word economy here—you’ve done so much in so few words!
Sara, Sam, Neil, Christian - thank you all for your kind comments.
This one packs a punch, Julie. Nicely done.
Man, this is charged! It speaks to so much, and elegantly, if bluntly.Even snakes give back bones.She accepts the plate from her lover. Wow! What imagery!Great if sad piece.
Julie, this is powerful. The last line is splendid. Also, "Instead she accepts...."
thank you so much, Jack, Darryl and Beate. Enjoying your work as well.
what a last line. what a story.
The end comes as a surprise and yet it shouldn't; we're focused on all else and yet the story's in there loud and clear. So nice.
I *just now* understood the last line. (Had it confused with "backbones")
Beautifully done, Julie. Love the imagery.
This is a perfect piece, Julie. Really well-done.
thank you all very much. I really appreciate your comments.
there’s a sad evanescent quality in this piece, the images of things easily transmuted, ivy tendrils, chalk, willows, the light from stained glass in tension with things unmovable, the cobblestones, door bolts. Even a stone Virgin’s fingertips are eroded...alienation, and the way it frames the relationship, distance with the lover, and what it is that’s no longer there.
Now that's a last line, Julie. A taut, tense story that overwhelmed me.
Thank you Doug and Ajay, I greatly appreciate your comments!
very interesting story, that wonderful last line made me physically cold. this asks more questions than it answers which is always good for fiction. i wanted it to go on, I was pulled in by the woman and her relationship to the man (he seemed reptilian, in some way) his coldness about it all and his lack of interest toward her true distress
Susan, thank you for your comments. Sanctuary is the middle 'panel' in a triptych, so I'm happy to hear that you wanted it to go on. That and the 'reptilian' insight -- I hadn't thought of it that way, but yes, I think you're right.
Like Susan, I'm eager to read the surrounding pieces. Fantastic last line.
Great piece, Susan, and the thing about the snake giving back the bones and alluding to the rape scene is so disturbing and great storytelling.
thank you David and David.
This was so powerful. Like how you ended this too.
very, very good. i like the ambiguity of "a mass of irritation". enjoyed this.
thank you! Glad you both liked it!
Very much enjoyed this one.
Super story Julie! Great piece...
Thank you Sam and Heather for your kind comments -- looking forward to reading your work as well.
Julie! The words are so soft and kind, perhaps showing what ultimately wins in this crazy world? The last line kills. Just kills.
This piece is exquisite, Julie, and so truthful. Thanks for writing it.
Katrina and Kim, thank you!
Julie, a wonderful piece. Full of sadness and the line "his face a mass of irritation:dont act like this now" perfectly illustrates the point of how transient and numb humans can get be to each others pain whether its from the ones we supposedly care about or the ones we hear about in the news.
Perfect. Thank you for sharing it! "no mark remains on the cobblestone path or in the hollowed ground beneath the weeping willow?" and "Even snakes give back bones." I'll chew on this one for quite some time.
Sara, thank you for putting it so well - it's something I've been exploring lately in my writing.
Michael, thank you for your comment. Looking forward to reading your work!
Lady J, I like how you turn sanctuary into violence, vacation into discord, life into bones. Was left wanting to murder the creep with his warning looks. I've dated him!
thanks Ms Godbold! and yes, so did I.
Boom.
love, love, love it. superior writing.
A trip to New York--yes. Things tend to be ignored. Of course I see you live in New York. So I sense there may be irony here. Or is there?
Really well done. I am much impressed and greatly satisfied.
This is beautiful. You, too, have a lot said in a small space. I especially love how you ended the piece. That last line will haunt me for a while.
much thanks, Bobbi, John, and Katy.
Really good writing, Julie. It seemed I felt faster than I could read - I couldn't keep up with the emotion of this piece! So, so good.
I love the shortness of this, containing the contrast between their paradise vs someone else's horror, and her thoughtfulness vs his irritation. Fave.
A mini Paradise Lost. To the city denizens a matter-of-fact attitude, to the outsider the sadness and horror, taking an insider to see hers. That's my read, wonderfully done.
Powerful story; kind of a peanut butter story that sticks to the roof of your mind. With a few words, I pictured New York, the churchyard and the couple. Writers like you have confidence and, usually, an art background. This phrase; ". . . a stone Virgin beckons with eroded fingertips." illustrates what I mean. Wonderful read that invited a couple of rereads.
thank you Foster, Martha, Walter, Ramon - I've been absent from F'naut recently - it's so nice to find your kind words here!
Julie -- just got to this, just found out about your Glass Woman Prize. So well deserved. This is a marvel of a piece, and like the others I really want to read the other two panels... congratulations, tight and powerful.
Fine and moving, Julie!
Hey Julie, congratulations on your win in the Glass Woman Prize! Being new to fictionaut I have only just read this, and I can see why it was chosen. Captivating story, succinctly written, brilliant ending, this has it all! Great literary fiction. Well done! and congrats again. Fav
Nice story and Congratulations on the prize.
I re-read this twice. God, it gave me chills.
A magnificent story--a balance of hope with dread, faith and blood, all in so few lines. Faver.
The very thing I like to read, just the thing. I loved this, but also, so much more: "Above the carved wooden doors, a stone Virgin beckons with eroded fingertips." Fantastic, all. -- Q
Visually complex and beautiful. Great eye for detail... it was like reading a photograph.
thank you all, grateful for your time.
Beauty, beauty. Soars. The architecture, and the architecture. So rightfully, we all love it, so I'll say again: "even snakes give back the bones." Yes. *
Wow! Great last line!
Lovely.
julie:
what robb said
just getting to this--
yes, my star
I was sure I had faved this before. Here, let me do it again! And again! No, actually does not allow that. But I would if I could. Dynamite, pure dynamite. *