OBLIGATORIES

Disheveled mess but you put humor into things you intend to laugh people through, you intend to laugh-off people, the people laughing off you all the people-faces a laugh giant, the laugh-giant is what the people need you're in need of a big smiley laugh make sure the teeth show make certain you show your teeth when you smile when you laugh make absolutely very surely certain the laugh-giant smiles upon your toothy smile-laugh and everyone will feel better/relieved that you're not not-okay but that you're okay. What is okay is what is okay and is what is okay what is okay.

It's okay. You're okay. The park bench is okay. The snot-kids cold in the weather seem okay. The weather is okay enough to feel okay about the snot-kid weather. The snot-weather is kid weather. The park bench is for staring at the snot-kids. The snot-kids aren't the same day to day. The snot-kids change from one day to a different day. One day is different from a different day. The park bench is cold. You are a cold snot-kid watcher. You don't actually watch you just sit cold and park-bench stare. The snot-kid faces are unaware of being cold-watched. But there is this one, there is this one, this one snot-kid, well it's not really a snot-kid there's no visible snot he must be immune to the weathered cold. There's this one non-snot kid who notices your park-bench stare and comes over, a few feet away he comes over, he must know to come no closer than this that a few feet away, he must know to avoid stare-people, he doesn't know you, you don't know him, you don't know any of them, this one comes over he starts staring, staring back at you, the bench feels colder, you sit and cold-bench your stare at the staring non-snot kid. It's okay. No need to think anyone's not okay. It's perfectly okay. No reason for cold alarm. The weather is cold but it's okay. It's really okay today.

You put humor into things you put humor out there you believe putting humor out is the way out. It's humor that you believe will save you. The humor is humid. The humor is emotional humidity. There is humor oozing out of your face. You're a humor-putter.

The non-snot kid smirks when you attempt to curl a smile. It's hard to curl a smile in this weather. It's hard to curl a smile. Curling a smile is hard when it's cold. When it's cold like this a smile-curl is hard. You get a little curl going and the non-snot kid smirks. Then the non-snot kid turns. Then the non-snot kid runs. The non-snot kid turns and runs and runs and runs. The non-snot kid joins the snot-kids. The bench feels colder more suddenly. The weather turns the bench colder more suddenly than the bench feels colder. The weather is colder suddenly. Suddenly you are colder more suddenly. Suddenly you feel sullen.

---

Onto something. You are home and you are on to something. The home is a building that somehow encapsulates you. It is not cold it is warm. Fire exists in many forms and shapes. The home is a capsule. The building-home is an encapsulating warmer. You are on to something. It's a plan for something to happen. It feels like it's a good plan for something. It's something that feels like a good plan to make something happen. It's one thing to make something happen but it's another thing to make something good happen. Something good needs to happen, something good has needed to happen for too long. But how long is too long. It's been too long. Something will happen. Something good will now happen. It will happen now that something good will need to happen.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh.

Momentary otherwise.

One two and one more two and three and one two more. One and two and three and otherwise. Momentary one for two and two for three. Moment one. Moment two. Moment three. How many momentary otherwise. How many moments. Momentary. Otherwise there are many moments. The momentary is otherwise. Food exists in moments.

A few of the moments.

Going. You are going. You go. You move and go. You are moving and going. Going is moving. Moving is going. You are moving. You are going. Going. Keep the going moving. Keep moving and the going will keep moving. Keep the moving going. Keep yourself moving and going.

The man looks up when you arrive. It is a man looking up but things aren't exactly looking up. Are they. The man looks up and you have arrived after moving and going. The moving and going are stopped. You are standing before the man who is looking up. You are looking at the man who now is looking. He is no longer looking up. He looked up and now he is looking. You are looking at him looking.

Give me. You tell the man to give you. The man keeps looking. You point and the man looks at the target of pointing. The man looks down at the target of your pointing. He reaches and fingers the give-thing. He lifts and gives the give-thing. You reach and take the give-thing and turn. The man looks away when you turn away. You turn away and move again. You go again. You are going and moving. You are taking the give-thing the man gave and you exchange a part of you for the give-thing. You now own the give-thing. You take the give-thing home. The give-thing is yours.

Things are looking up.

---

You open the give-thing but now it is no longer a give-thing it is a thing that is yours. It is now a thing. It's a thing. It's your thing. You open the thing that is now yours and things are looking up and you hold the thing and feel the thing. You like the thing. The thing has no feelings. It is like a fish. It is like the eyes of a fish that has been hooked. A fish that has been hooked has no feelings. A fish that has not been hooked has no feelings. Fish have no feelings. Fish don't feel anything. The thing you hold is not a fish. It is not a fish but it has no feelings. You move the thing and make the thing move. It moves and you keep moving the thing. Back and forth and all around the thing moves but it can only move if you move it. The thing can only move if you are the mover of the thing. You deduce that you and the thing have only one thing not in common in that you can move without being moved by a thing but the thing cannot move without you moving the thing. The thing can only move by another thing moving it. You like the thing. You like that the thing depends on you. You like that the thing needs you to move it so that if the thing had feelings it would feel good knowing that it needs you to move it. The thing's existence is made whole by your moving the thing. You stare down at thing and stop moving it. You stare at the thing and wish that you could be the thing. You stare and wish you were a thing like the thing in your hand. Then you and the thing would have everything in common. You and the thing would be one big thing.

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Whirlwind swirlwind spin-around if not for happening for happenstance. Swirlwind if not for what happens. Spin around. Spinning round. Around. Whirl around as you swirl round and around. What happens. Spin happenstance as it happens to be happening. Not happy. Not happy with the happenstance. Whirling happens. Swirling happens. Both happen. They happen together.

But you failed.

You failed to produce. You failed to produce. You did not succeed in not failing to produce. You were in charge of production and nothing was produced. The product was not produced. It was a simple thing. It was simple. You only had to produce a product that was easy to produce but you did not produce the product. The production of the non-produced product did not exist. There was no production. Production did not happen. It was a whirlwind of swirling nothingness.

One thousand four hundred and ninety-four days. One thousand four hundred and ninety-five days. One thousand four hundred and ninety-six days. One thousand four hundred and ninety-seven days. One thousand four hundred and ninety-eight days. One thousand four hundred and ninety-nine days.

ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DAYS.

Ended up gone. Ended up leaving. Ended up no longer existing. Goner. Loner. No one anymore. Leaving. Gone. Leaving. Loner. Absent. Absence. In absentia. Should have, did the correct action. Action taken action accomplished. Look at you. Looking at you. Here you are. Now here you are. Here you go. Here you go and are. Here you are and here you go. Well here you go. Well look at that. Well I'll be. Well I never. Well I never ever. One thousand five hundred days and here you are. Here you go. Look at that why don't you. Why don't you look at that. Don't look at that. Don't look. Look, don't look at that. Look here.

---

This is when it starts pounding. It starts its pounding inside. You can feel the pounding inside. Ball peen hammer pounding. No longer secure. Insecure. Pounding. You can't save yourself from it. The pounding begins then does not end. You think it will end but it goes on and it does not end. Impossible to define. Disheveled mess. Pounding. Psychotic. Psychotic remembrances. Psychobiological. Psycho-etymological. Lullaby letter. Psychoanalytical. Psychosis. Light the window. Light up the windows. Strike up the windows. Light the windows alight. Strike the fire in the windows. Ablaze. Strike the windows ablaze. Fire in the brain. Lights in the brain. Weather in the brain. Sing the weather cold. Sing the weather. Blaze the cold. Fire up the cold weather. Fire the brain. The brain afire. The brain savagely lit. The brain. The brain is you. You are brain. Pounding in the brain. Go dead.

Telling you it's no lie. Telling yourself of lies. Tell a lie to yourself. Telling lies of who it is your self believes. Who it is don't you know who it is. Who is it who knows. Who knows who it is. Lies of the self who knows. Lie of the self who knows. Lie the self to death. It's no lie believe it's not a lie believe the lie is no lie. It's no lie.

Do it again. Do it why don't you do it again. Keep doing it again. Keep doing it and again you keep doing it. You can't stop doing it. Don't stop doing it. Keep doing. Keep not stopping. Do it. Again, do it. Do it again and again and you won't stop doing it again. You are doing it again. Hey you are doing it again. Hey you're doing it again. Hey.

Recall the bouncy. Recall the bouncy one. Silent grin. Bouncy one with the silent grin. That silly silent grin wider than Texas. The mask is a monster. The monster grins. The bouncy monster grinning and there you sat. Before the grinning monster the size of Texas. The grin was the mask. The grin was masked. The Texas-size monster wore the grin-mask. Hand reaching. Hand reaching out. Hand reaching out and smacking. Punching. There you sat. There you sat. Bouncy puncher. Silent bouncy grinning smacking punching monster-puncher. You the punchline. The mask was the master of the monster.

Why are you sleeping. You are asleep. Why are you asleep. Fall out of sleep. Don't sleep don't fall asleep. Don't sleep. Don't fall asleep. Why sleep. Why are you a sleeper. Why the sleep. 

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Today you are thirty-five. 

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Make a list. Decompress time. Say things you don't mean. Curate. Discombobulate. Shape a table. Move into being. Refrain from objectification principles. Slip through night sweats. Escape escapists. Fly across a room. Re-kill a bug. Be certain of absolutes. Harbor fallible thoughts. Foment poesy. Scintillate acrimony.

Fatigue. Lethargic grabbing.

There is a conflict in the facts, there is a conflict. The conflict in the facts affects how conflicting the facts of conflict become. The fact is the conflict. Facts are conflicts. Conflicts feed the facts. Feeding the facts with conflicts. Feed the facts with conflict. There is a conflict. The conflict remains and the fact remains and the conflict of the fact remains. The fact remains that the conflict of fact remains. It remains. You remain. You and the fact remain. Your conflict with the remaining facts remains. Remain. Do not refrain from fact. Do not refrain. Refrain not. 

People are internal. People look at each other internally. People are looking at each other internally. People are internally looking. Look at the people who look at each other. Look at people. Look. The people look. See the people as they look. See people. See people internally internal. Know what will happen to the internal people. See what happens when the people internalize. Do you know the people. Do you know people. People know. The people know. People who know are people who know people. You know people know about how people know. Let the people know how to know people. Let people know how people are to know who the people know. The people are knowing. 

Ultra color. Say something. Say one thing. Say something and say one thing. Saying something can be one thing. Saying one thing can be saying something. Say something is one thing. Say something is a thing. Saying something as one thing. Saying a thing as one thing can be saying something as a something. Saying a thing as something that is one thing is something. Something is a one-thing something so say it. 

Become a chemist. Mix together. Mix this with that. See what happens when this is mixed with that. Become a chemist. A chemist is a mixer. Mix that with this. If you mix a that and a this you get _____. Do it. Mix a this with a that. Become a chemist and you become a mixer. You become a chemist first and then you become a mixer. It is hard to become a chemist. It is also hard to become a mixer. You have to be a chemist first before you can become a mixer. Becoming a mixer means nothing if you are not a chemist. If you are not a chemist you are not a mixer. Anyone can mix. Anyone can mix. Not anyone can become a mixer. Not anyone can become a chemist. One can mix but anyone can mix. Only a chemist can be a mixer. If you only mix that does not mean you are a mixer. Only a chemist is a mixer. If you only mix you are just one who mixes. If you only mix you are not a mixer but someone who mixes. A chemist does more than mix. A chemist is a mixer because not anyone can mix in the way a chemist mixes. The chemist is a mixer. Become a chemist.

 

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You say you understand but do you understand. Understand that you do not understand. The movement of a head is not understanding. The movement of a head is not an understanding. Move the head but do not understand. You move your head but you do not understand. Do more than move your head. Understand. Do you understand. Are you able to understand. Say you understand without moving your head. Say there is an understanding. Do we have an understanding. There is no moving of heads. There is no moving of your head. Understand.

Many years. Many many years. So many years. Many many many years. It has been many years. Many years it has been and many years you have been. You have been many years. You are many years. There are so many years you have been. The many years you have been are many. How many years. How many. How many years have there been. The many years have been how many. Many many years and how many of the years have there been. Many. So many. So many many. So many many many many years.

Time to leave. Time to up and leave. It is time. It is time to leave and up and leave. The time is up and is time to leave. Time is to leave. Time to leave it is time to. To leave is time to. Leave it to time. Leave time to time. It is time to leave it up to time. The time is leaving it up to time. Leaving time is up. Up and leave time.

 

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A concept of struggle. The struggle is a concept and you have to fathom the struggle. You have to struggle to fathom the concept. Fathom the struggle and you fathom the concept. Pack the car. Packing the car is a struggle. Pack the car and start the car. Drive the car and drive the car. Drive the car. Driving a car is a concept of minimal struggle. It is not a struggle to drive a car. If you struggle to drive a car you are a misconception of struggle. You misconceive struggle. You misconceive and misconstrue struggle. This is a concept with which you struggle. Drive the car without struggle. The car drives without struggle if you drive the car without struggle. The concept of struggle.

 

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Right when it starts getting good. When it starts getting good, it starts. Right when it starts. It starts getting good right when it starts. It's getting good. It's starting to get good. It gets good when it starts. When it's good it starts its getting.

Sun the day up. Sun up the day. Get up, sun the day. The sun of the day. The sun day. It's not Sunday. It's a sun day. See the sun. See the sun up. Sun's up. The sun's day. No nuns only suns. Suns and no nuns. No nuns on sun days. No nuns on the day of the sun. Suns and no nuns. Suns no nuns.

Don't worry because. Don't worry because the worry. The worry because. Worry because. Don't because the worry. You can't have worry without because. Because worry. Because worry becauses worry. Worry the worry. Worry because the worry.

Like I told you. It's like I told you. And I told you like I did. Like I did tell you. I told you like I told you. I am telling you I told you. I tell you I told you and I told you, I tell you. I tell you I did. I did tell you, I told you. I keep telling you. You were told I told you. I told you I had told you. I tell you this. You were told.