Bye, Bye Love

by David James

Last week, when Darlene was drunk, she saw Lester slap her border collie, Shirley, for chewing on his dirty socks and she thought, “Well that's the last straw” and, as he was parading around in his graying jockey shorts, wolfing down a pulled pork sandwich and chugging a 40, she started beating the crap out of him with a frying pan and Lester, trying to dodge her blows, slipped down, head first on the hard, linoleum, kitchen floor and that ended their relationship because, right there, on the floor, Lester died.