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Neuro-Harmonic Conspiracy


by Chris Okum


That's not a vewy nice thing to say, you know? Yeah, I have a speech impediment, so what? Is this your first time wistening to this show? I have a speech impediment, so what? So don't wisten then. I've always had a speech impediment. You think I don't know I have a speech impediment? Why would you want to point that out? Wike, wike, wike, wike I'm not self-conscious enough about it? You think I don't notice that I have a speech impediment? You think I didn't get teased about it constantwy when I was a kid? You think my pawents didn't do evewything in their power to fix it? Geez, what a mean thing to say to someone. What kind of person sits on hold for two hours to say something wike that? You know, you just hurt my feewings. You took time out of your day to hurt my feewings and what, what? You want me to say thank you? What kind of person are you? But you asked, so I'll tell you, not that you deserve an answer. I pursued a caweer in talk wadio, okay, yes, because I have a speech impediment, that's why. Because I wanted to torture people wike you, that's why. Because I wanted to work in a field that was compwetely unsuitable for me. Is that what you want to hear? I don't know why I got into talk wadio. I have no idea. I never thought about it, to be honest with you. I would have to wook back at my wife and anawyze every single decision I've ever made in order to give you an answer that makes any sense. How many times have I expressed wight here on this show that I bewieve there are invisible forces contwolling all of us? I mean, that's what this show is about. That's what I'm here to expose, all the secrets and codes. But I don't know. Maybe evewyone is wight. Maybe there's nothing to anything, that evewything is exactly as it seems, and that's the twick, okay? But then again, maybe evewyone is wong. Maybe there are weasons why things happen that we don't understand because they're beyond our compwehension. Like, why would someone with a severe speech impediment want a caweer in talk radio? I'm sure you're not the onwy person who wants an answer to this question. Maybe you're not awone. But that doesn't mean you have to call my show and make me feel bad. Now I'm going to feel bad for the west of the day. Here, I just thought of something. Wet me put it this way. Maybe the weason I pursued a career in talk radio is because it makes me forget about my speech impediment. Maybe that's the weason. Because I talk to people all day wong and they never mention it, which makes me forget about it. And then someone wike you has to call in and wemind me of what I don't want to be weminded of. And now I'm weminded of it. Thanks, thanks a lot. You have wuined my day. We'll be wight back.

 

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