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In Love With Myself


by Chris Okum


GIRLS

ME: Do you ever think about girls?
ME: I don't. Do you?
ME: No, I don't.
ME: Who needs them, right?
ME: Right.
ME: We've got a mirror.
ME: Should we go look in it?
ME: Let's.
ME: Look at me.
ME: Look at me.
ME: I'm so cute.
ME: You are.
ME: What girl could possibly compete with this?
ME: Maybe a girl who looks like you?
ME: Nah.
ME: I could stand here all night and look at myself.
ME: That sounds like a good idea.
ME: You want to?
ME: Yes.
ME: I mean, look at me.
ME: I am.
ME: Try and look away.
ME: I can't. 

FRIENDS

ME: Are you bored?
ME: No. Are you?
ME: Not at all.
ME: We don't have any friends.
ME: Does that bother you?
ME: Not one bit.
ME: I don't need friends.
ME: I'm my own best friend.
ME: There's no one I have more in common with than myself.
ME: I can entertain myself.
ME: That's because I think I'm the funniest person I've ever met.
ME: And the smartest.
ME: I could talk to myself forever.
ME: That's because I never run out of interesting things to say.
ME: Who wants to listen to someone else?
ME: Not me.
ME: Who wants to do what other people want to do?
ME: Sounds awful.
ME: Who wants to feel something for someone who isn't me?
ME: It makes me tired.
ME: Are you ready for sleep?
ME: No. I'm ready to do something fun.
ME: Like what?
ME: Nothing.
ME: That sounds awesome.
ME: Just me, sitting here, doing nada.
ME: Can't think of anything better than that.
ME: I don't need to go out.
ME: I've got a television.
ME: I've got food.
ME: I've got something to drink.
ME: And most important of all, you know what else I've got?
ME: No, what?
ME: I've got me. 

LOVE

ME: What are your thoughts on love?
ME: Love?
ME: Yes. L-o-v-e. Love.
ME: It's so easy.
ME: Especially when you're falling in love with someone like me.
ME: What's not to love?
ME: I've can't think of anything right now.
ME: I mean, how could I not love me?
ME: I feel like I fall in love every single day.
ME: Me, too.
ME: I wake up and I realize that I'm me and I fall in love all over again.
ME: What a feeling.
ME: I've never felt like this before.
ME: Neither have I.
ME: Seriously, how could I not fall in love with myself.
ME: There's got to be something wrong with me, right?
ME: Everyone is flawed.
ME: I don't think I am.
ME: But isn't that a flaw?
ME: Being flawless is a flaw?
ME: Yes, I believe it is.
ME: Then I'm not perfect?
ME: Not really. How does that make you feel?
ME: It makes me feel complex, multi-faceted. 
ME: I was thinking the same thing.
ME: It makes me love myself even more.
ME: It does.
ME: I love you.
ME: I love you.
ME: Say it again.
ME: I love you.
ME: God, I love you.
ME: God, I love you too. 
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