Crabby McGrouchpants


Location Portland, OR
Occupation Shuck-and-Jiver, Ironic Counterpointist, and Machine-Gunnist for the Contemporary Culture's "Meme War"
Website http://novacop923.com

About Me

I.Q.: 127. (Which I found out when I took one of those 20 min. Internet tests: "Stupid Internet test!")

Why do you write?

I can't write ANYTHING unless it feels musical/cinematic to me, and, I have a concept/framing device in mind, and, I have a bit of an "idea surplus."

No rewrites!

(All of it's in longhand, too; except for "Glen Beck: Limp-Dicked Private Dick" and "The Ruined Person," which I wrote on good ol' QWERTY!)

Any favorite authors? Books?

Daphne du Maurier; William Gibson; and Thomas Pynchon.

Obviously, the REAL list of authors would be too long to list here -- as I imagine it would for ANY practicing fiction writer -- but those'll do as "emblematic," I suppose.

FAVORITE BOOKS: "Rule Britannia," "Virtual Light," and "Vineland" from the above.

Might as well add "The Last Man" by Mary Shelley (which I just recently finished), "Amerika, or the Man Who Disappeared" by Franz Kafka (actually the only Kafka I've EVER read, incredible as it may sound), and "The 'Genius'" by Theodore Dreiser (which I am currently reading) for flavor.

And Pagan Kennedy -- pretty much everything by her -- but since that would take you through fiction into 'zines, journalism, history, comics, and what not, she might not be as easily "peggable" as a straight fiction influence for me.

Though, you know what? Maybe everything listed above is what I try to cram into/cover in my own fiction. Probably I learned most of it -- the yearning and reaching, as well as the level of accomplishment -- from her, so she'd probably be the ideal reference.

So, I'll say: Pagan Kennedy. My "literary god" (to quote and affirm someone else, I forget who).

[Is this a bit much? I'll shut up now. Thanks.]

ALSO FAVES O' MINE: Douglas Coupland; Philip K. Dick; Simone de Beauvoir; Jean-Paul Sartre; Dorothy Parker; Chuck Palahniuk; Jack Kerouac; Herman Melville; Louisa May Alcott; William S. Burroughs; Emma Forrest; Leslie Stella; Jenna Black; Mario Acevedo; Jes Battis; Ian McEwan; Roberto Bolaño; Ramsey Campbell; Alain Robbe-Grillet; Theodore Dreiser; Chelsea Quinn Yarbro; Stephen King; Peter Straub; John Shirley; Clive Barker; Jack Womack; Ambrose Bierce; Sarah Vowell; André Breton; Jim Knipfel; Paul Lukas; Cory Doctorow; Marco Vassi; Mark Leyner; Willa Cather; Haruki Murakami; John Shirley; and Flannery O'Connor.

Crabby McGrouchpants's Wall

Ann Bogle – Oct 19, 2014

I want to fave each CMcG story even before I read the ones I haven't read to remember the ones I did read. FAVE

Larry Strattner – Oct 19, 2014

What about Nora Roberts, for crying out loud?

DJ Young – May 02, 2014

Hello and thank you for reading and commenting on 500 Words - I'm enjoying your profile. :-)

Barry Friesen – Sep 24, 2013

Yes, a side order of awards, please. Hold the glitter. I thought a side order of orgasms would be too much. Thanks for looking in on my silliness, Christopher.

Bill Yarrow – Jul 14, 2013

Thanks for commenting on and faving "Dead Parental Units." I appreciate both very much.

Amanda Harris – Jul 12, 2013

Thanks for the kind words (and fave) on "Beware the Armed Man". I got the idea for the linebreaks, ironically enough, on a poetry site called Linebreak.

Han Kondabalu – May 25, 2013

Hey Christopher, thank you for your kind comments on the horse short. it means to much as it was a very difficult time to express such dismal shit. but writings cool for that you kno-pax and thank you again!

Amanda Harris – May 21, 2013

Wow. Thank you for your commentary on "After Prom". I never tried to teach anyone to "walk the walk"--but I'm glad I did.

Han Kondabalu – May 11, 2013

Thank you Christopher for your comment on ted nugent. It means so much coming from you.

David Martin – May 09, 2013

Thanks for your comment + fav on my story "Erased". Much appreciated.

Con Chapman – May 05, 2013

Christopher--Glad you enjoyed The Last Game. I am a Univ. of Chicago grad too.

Gloria Garfunkel – Dec 25, 2012

Thanks for the comments on Snowflakes and the references.

Christopher Allen – Jul 10, 2011

Hi, Christopher. Thank you for your encouragement on the story "The Language." Very much appreciated.

Christopher Allen – Apr 16, 2011

Hey, Christopher,
Thank you for reading and commenting on "A Literary Separation". Much appreciated. :)

Randal Houle – Nov 06, 2010

Welcome Christopher.

Wendy Wimmer – Nov 30, 2009

Welcome, Mr. Snyder.

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