Old Photograph Stuck Between Documents


I spent the evening looking at our old pictures.
We were never happy. I realize that now. 
You held a beer while looking at the camera
as if you held a secret, while I was beside you,
talking to someone else, in a dark bar.
A single yellow light shone beside your head. 
But I was not unhappy like this, like tonight. 
That's something. I want to call you
and ask if you feel the same way, 
or are you happier? I fear that is the case,
and I will realize that you got
the better part of the bargain: That
you lost me as a reward for bearing 
the perpetuity of my vanity,
and I am now alone 
as a result of the same.