by Tim Young

 I call myself dude. Not like The Dude in the movie, just dude.

Like, "dude, that was awesome or, dude I can't beleve you just said or did that.

 A talking to myself thing. I like it. It can be cool but then,

dude, this idea sounded better in my head than it is reading here on the page. Not

even sure I'm going for the idea now, dude. Where exactly is your head at, dude. 

Beats me up, dude. I'm losing the something I had going, or thought I had going.

Shit, it does beat me so bad up, dude.

So then I practice and practice and practice until I get absolutely nowhere. I mean

it's even diminishing returns, dude. Pisses me off. And then the really serious

fucking cursing begins, dude. Like I can't fucking say a word without dropping the

fucking F bomb.

Which triggers a memory of when Peter Fonda is explaining to Jack Nicholson in

Easy Rider that a dude is a good guy. And hell yes Jack was a cool ass dude of  a

guy in that film until he got his fucking head bashed in by those red neck mother

fuckers. Dude, I was ready to kill them too. But I didn't. Imagine actually killing

someone and then having to spend life in prison. Dude, that would be a most

heinous fuck up. Then I would be one bad dude but I'm not that bad dude.

Reminds me too of Sean Penn in the high school movie by Amy Heckerling. I

remember her name cause I always like that name Amy. Dude he was one funny

dude in that flick. Hell man, he had pizza delivered to the classroom cause he had

the munchies so bad. But, really, dude, no big deal. I always wanted to go out with

a girl named Amy. Dude, just saying that name out loud is some kind of turn on.

I can't believe I just said that out loud, dude, that shit is revealing. But go ahead,

sit here and say that name out loud a few times. Amy, Amy, Amy, dude you can

dig it too.

Dude, what's with all the movie references? Not a difficult question, right dude?

I mean cause it's just all about dudes, not that they all called themselves dude.

What else is pretty fucking funny is that after typing the goddamn word' dude' so

many times it begins to look like dud to me. Dud, what are you saying, dude, is no

dud. I mean it's missing the one crucial fucking letter. Fuck, that's just wrong

dude. Gotta keep an eye on myself sometimes or things could go out of control.

Who needs that, dude?