Alphabetical stories

I Like You ‘Cause You Like Me

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And you don't like much. No handholding or brand name sweaters. No phone calls late at night. This is not you. And you certainly don't go for kisses in the rain or cards from the grocery store with…

I Liked My Giant Friends

10131013 views55 comments44 favs

When you say they were too big, too wild, they weren't too big to be giants. Giants are meant to dwarf things. They can't help it. They're not trying to make you feel helpless to give them a haircut. They just grow fast. But they…

I Liquidate My Assets

943943 views55 comments55 favs

My businessman does as his nature allows him. He is so cute. All day long he makes deals. He is on his phone most of the time. He raises his voice. “Fuck those fuckers, just do it,” is what he says. My businessman hedges risk on his investments by keeping…

I Listened to Country Music

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I remember telling you that I listened to country music. You surprised me with a whole tape that you recorded of all my favorites and I didn’t know how you figured them out, except that you must have snuck up beside my bedroom window at night. And

I Love a Man Who Whistles

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“Hey! You can’t be whistling on Greyhound,” the bus driver said, looking up in the rearview mirror.

I Love Us

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I'd kill a gas attendant in Playa Del Mar. You'd read stained romance novels in motel rooms, while I oiled the gun and laughed on the phone, to no one.

I Made You . . . (April Fool's Day Challenge)

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You cheat with a stripper--joke I told to your wife. I didn't know that she couldn't take a goof.

I Married a Werewolf

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It really makes you wonder what else you don't know.

I May be Dried Up -- But I can Make You Breakfast in the Morning

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Our dinner was over and we regretfully had to leave the restaurant. She leaves with enough shopping money for a few weeks. He, getting the rough end of the deal, has charged more money to his credit card at 19% plus cash withdrawal fees. So I ask myself

I Must Slip The Batman a Fin

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The Batman says it's his birthday. I take him at his word.

I Must Want it. No, I Must Need It.

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She rubs her head into mine...

I Never Metafiction I Didn't Like

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If you find a nickel-plated Colt .38 lying on top of a worn copy of King Lear, you’ll know who you’re dealing with.

I never.

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contemplatedshredding lettersfrom mybelated betterscauterizingsevered tethershorizoningmy ruffled feathers

I Once Knew a Sparkledrop

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"And then I, and I believe, I alone, saw this small child run..."

I Remember Kitty D.

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When the car arrived, Kitty bounded out, lipstick-stained cigarette dangling, silver hair tightly teased. We could not escape her hug, smelling of peppermint and Aqua-Net and Jean Nate.

I Russian Bride - Letters 1-6 (novel excerpt)

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Online dating. Russian women. Beware.

I Saw God in a Wheelchair

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I saw God sobbing in a wheelchair His legs didn't work and He had no hair I saw God sobbing in a wheelchair Nobody else was there Nobody stopped to stare Nobody seemed to care

I Saw the News Today, Oh Boy

12421242 views1818 comments1414 favs

We are infused with fear and dread/ of the world we won’t engage/ except through flat screens and remotes,

I Scream

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she peeled back the white wrapper from around her ice cream sandwich slowly, methodically

I see other women

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Together, we were smooth, shining and oiled. I used to wear a crocheted bikini around the house and I felt like such a dirty girl, dirty but delicious

I See Your Face Before Me

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The summer was announcing itself in thick waves of heat that rolled like a slow motion hurricane inside Mark Keeler's 1971 Mercury Montego. The car baked in a…

I Should Not Have Rushed You Through The Rain

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Mist falls from the opaque sky and splatters crystals in your hair...

I Should’ve

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I should've traced my steps. I'm lost in a sea of hyperlinks.

I spend my free time writing epitaphs

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I invented a game called Church & State

I Still Miss the Sun

360360 views66 comments22 favs

I know I’m in the sky all night And can lie back and sometimes have some fun But these stars around me aren’t everything in life I still miss the sun After your first lover threw you back Into the frozen ocean of life You never came back

I stood next to Richie Havens

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fuck you Charles Bukowski go cry in your eggs in a Jersey diner

I Take Out The Garbage

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I Take Out The Garbage

I Think You Know That

585585 views44 comments33 favs

you've swallowed a whale bone and not a whole chicken. It's not about being surrounded by very nice stuff. We always thought there was much, much more than haunted walls inside cold castles. People connect the dots like collecting stamps. Things get…

I Thought

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I thought we ended things a long time ago

I Took Part in 5 Orgies, Which I Liked, and Got Pounded into Shit

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[PARTY.]