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Stupidest. Film Director. EVER!


by Smiley McGrouchpants


CIRCA 1992:

               "I can't believe people are having trouble with this . . . I know, I know, Woody Allen's against it — but, what is he?  At heart, that's right — a comedian! . . . Stick to your medium, dude, it's what you do best . . . Ted Turner is right — Fuck Scorsese!  Oh my god (puts head in hands) (lifts them up, after an instant:) 'Scorsese this, Scorsese that, Scorsese says, you know, did you hear what Scorsese thinks?  Well, if Martin Scorse—' . . . I know, I know, it's just — see, here's the thing: you know how Richard Linklater blew up the 8mm footage at the end of Slacker?  Right — right!  So — so!  The whole movie's — yes!  It goes from 16mm to 35, and that part — right!  Goes from — goes from 8mm to 16mm to — right!  35mm . . . (beat.)  So, why not, I figure — as, you know, an artistic agenda — shoot in black and white, and then colorize it — "

               [CLICK!]

               (dial tone.)

               [ROLL CREDITS]

                                                              THE END . . . 


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"I believe that if Matthew Brady had had access to color film he would have used it."—joke on colorizing daguerreotypes, from Mark Leyner's Et Tu, Babe (1992) 
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