It Is True that Me and Theodore Swallowed Pop Rocks and Pepsi Cola and Now We Are Dead
by Mary Hamilton
Come on over and sit at my lunch table Baby. It's all right, you can bring your chocolate pudding cup. Bring me one too, I swear to god, they put cocaine in those things, that's how addictive. Actually, Baby, bring as much as you can carry, make sure you get one for you and one for me and one for everyone you love. Like how you pray at night. When you kneel in front of your crosses and votive candles. And you list out all the names, in order, of all the people you love. And it takes you hours, this prayer, and all you can think about is how much you love. And how it makes you hurt in your chest and your stomach and you just need to lie down, you just need to get on the floor, all curled up, like a baby, like a seashell, because you are so sure that you are going to explode inside out from all the love.
Hey, come on over and sit next to me baby, like almost on my lap, like almost touching, like two magnets are held real close to each other and they start to shiver because all they want is to get connected. Bring your chocolate pudding cup, Baby, bring your milk. And we'll put two straws in that little blue carton and act like we're teeny-boppers in a malt shoppe. Like olden times. Only we won't be so innocent and we ain't no black and white, we're Technicolor, we're the wild kind, the new blood. I'll pull out my ponytail and swing my hair around and wear too much makeup. Oh but Baby, don't you worry because here at this table, in this corner of the cafeteria we are in another place, another world, where we make the rules and we decide the tides and we run the games that rule this table, in this corner in this cafeteria, so why don't you just come over here and sit with me, Baby?
I got a little space, right here, right next to me where you can sit and yeah, Baby, you can bring your chocolate pudding cup. If you sit here, Baby, I promise you nothing but love. An honest kind of love. The kind of love without fear, without doubt, no questions asked love. Just you and me and a lunch tray, Baby. It's nice at this table, it's real over here. We take care of you at this table, Baby. If you follow our rules and if you catch our speed, and if you play our game right, we'll put a letter on your jacket and a stripe on your sleeve and we'll make you the captain of our hopscotch team. We'll be like your cheerleaders with pom-poms in the halls and ribbons springing out from our hands every time you walk by, Baby. All you have to do, the only thing you have to do is come over here, Baby, and sit next to me.
So come on, Baby, sit here, right here, I've got a space for you. Big enough for your big broad shoulders and nice strong hands. And, Baby, bring your chocolate pudding cup, bring it over here. And we'll peel the seal and you can have the first spoonful and I'll take the next and the whole time we are sharing that pudding cup, the whole time we are being nourished with whatever it is they put inside, the whole time, Baby, it'll be just you and me. Just us. At this table, in this corner of the cafeteria, we make our own rules, Baby, and if we want to, we can make this chocolate pudding cup last forever and the whole time we are spooning through it, we will be one being filled with love, honest and true. The kind of love that comes from mom, the kind of love that comes from the center of a cinnamon roll. A big blanket love. A stars in the sky love. An every little thing love. A sentimental reason love. The kind of love that comes from being comfortable and warm and secure and taken care of and all kinds of easy, Baby. So why don't you just come over here? To this table, in this corner of the cafeteria. And sit next to me? Right here, Baby. I've got a little space for you. That's right, stand up, stand up and walk. Walk over to me, Baby. Sit with me. Right here. Right next to me. And don't you worry, don't you worry your head one little bit, because we'll take care of you Baby. You're in my arms now. You belong to me.

hi mary:
i LOVED this one when i read in wigleaf. i can't even single out a sentence -- love every word of it.
i haven't read your other theodore stories yet, but if they're as good as this one (of which i have no doubt), i will be smiling a lot today.
(almost forgot to say -- i love the title, too!)
this story rules. yo read it yo.
Stunned, and so damn sad, reading this, wanting so much to be invited to sit at that table.
It speaks about so many things, one being something akin to the C, S & N's "Wasted on the Way" - "didn't you envy the dancers who had all the nerve..."
This story floors me.
Mary I am so happily surprised out the richness of your language here, how full the bounty of words. You are brave as a writer and also write with utter confidence which I also admire."The kind of love that comes from the center of a cinnamon roll." Man, that's powerful stuff.
Darryl, I was THIS CLOSE to quoting that cinnamon roll line. Of all the wondrous, beautiful language, that line resonated the most.
Wow.
Related: No lie, I had a cinnamon roll flavored pudding cup just before I read this. Now I keep pinching myself.
I read this in Wigleaf and loved it. "A big blanket love. A stars in the sky love. An every little thing love." Yes. Wonderful.
Mary: I want to know more about these Theodore stories. Are they (dumb question?) part of a collection?
What a trip. It's a 1960s pop song braided with strands of a postmodern novel and beat poem.
I came across this at the end of a long day, standing beside my car to let the heat escape. I faved but don't always comment, just don't always know what to add. I think the repetition, pushed past limit, esp. "baby," works every time it rolls around. Would love to see an audience react to this. There's payoff in knowing the same phrases are coming back, but not quite sure how soon, and with how much accumulated emotion...you sneak in the repetition, a refrain we know is coming, but half a beat soon or late.
And the internalized bravado...someone probably quite shy with a demon brain.
This is oh so well done. A great read, thank you.
I love the narrator's voice, her yearning and striving, and bravado too.
This is so moving, and there's also just that hint of menace at the end that really makes for a very satisfying finish. Congratulations.
Thanks for all the nice comments, gang!
Molly--Theodore is my current obsession, I'll move on at some point. Until then, his name is firmly etched in the top of my desk.
the kind of love that comes from the center of the cinnamon roll!!
(wow)
the kind of love that comes from the center of the cinnamon roll!!
(wow)
whoops, looks like darryl beat me.
Baby, I'll tell you one thing, Baby, I want to wrap this story around me like a blanket and lean in close and listen to it whisper the day away.
Love Love Love.
This is so wonderful. I'm going to read it again and again.
YAh.