How to Dismantle an Incendiary Bomb #5

by James Claffey

You take the wires hanging out of the fuselage and tuck them under the wing pit of a crow or raven, making sure to ground everything with a good dose of ethyl alcohol. The crow is not as safe a bet as the raven as there's a proclivity in the corvus corvus to twitch a little when the initial contact is made. Ravens are assured and allow for a more stable situation to unfold. Under absolutely no circumstances should you use a raptor, or a seagull, for the lack of a moral compass in these birds lets the possibility of short-circuiting into the equation. On a dark evening in March there's a 50/50 chance of an immediate absorption of fission into the bloodstream of certain birds. No man, John Donne proclaimed, is an island, but some birds, some birds are destined to find themselves in a dire situation where island homes are preferable to the alternative of sacrifice.