No, no, Matilda was not aware. Not that I knew of. Heck, I did not have the faintest idea what she was into, I mean, whether she was into other women or not. Maybe, maybe. I was hoping that she liked me but I could not yet know what she was thinking. There could be a way of finding out, though. If I found a way to approach her, carefully, then we could talk about this and that, loosen up, get to know each other better. An opportunity would come, surely. Yes, I knew it would appear very soon. I really needed another connection now, another lover, as dear Ruby could not be with me anymore. I had hated how she said she did not want me anymore, as I was still so much into her, always missing her warm caresses and laughs, even those high-pitched screams in our frenzy and ecstasy…. I had wanted her back, but that was that. No chance. Someone new, yes, a must right now.
I was brushing my teeth and flashes came back to me, brief moments of our touches. I had to run my hand along my left shoulder and arm, in reminiscence, and anticipation of another time like that. I watched myself licking my lips slowly. The need became almost unbearable, I wanted her this moment, but all I could do was trace my nipples, fondle my own breasts, close my eyes and dream.
Later, I had been fetching some consumables from the stockroom and as I went into the lab, I nearly made Matilda drop her plastic Petri dishes full of Bacillus specimens. She looked shocked behind her glasses, I had to apologize for this inconvenience, this horrible interruption of mine.
”Oh hey, Matilda, gosh, sorry! Are you OK? Good you didn't drop anything.”
”Look…Toni? It's OK, you couldn't see me behind that door, I have been speaking to Professor Gant but he hasn't been listening when I tell him we need a window.”
”No bruises then?”
I smiled at her. She looked so marvelous, dark brown and simmering sexiness behind those glasses. I suddenly found that I wanted to see cleavage, but no, she had an expensive and none too revealing t-shirt. What a pity, I would have found a way to explore her boobs….no, that would not do for the moment.
”Eh…can you see any? Well, I don't think so, love.”
”Hm, let me have a closer look. I'll buy you a coffee first, if you like.”
”Oh, sure, Toni. Thank you.”
There was a coffee maker and another vending machine in the hallway. Quiet save for the swirling sort of noise from the ceiling fans and the cooling compressors. I put some change in and I smiled at her again, I had to do that each time I looked at her. Her coat was buttoned quite carefully, which made her contour visible. She sure had a great butt. I wanted to feel it and then I would want her to sit down so that I could touch her mellow front as well.
”You look so amused, so content now, Toni. What are you thinking??”
”Who, me? Well — what'll it be, sweetie? Black, or white and sweet maybe? Sweet as yourself?”
”Look, now, what's that supposed to mean? Haha, Toni!! OK, I'll have it white and sweet, please.”
There was a small lounge, luckily. We sat down to sip. Roger and Anne, our fellow researchers, were already having a break. We said hi but they were deep in discussion it seemed.
”Matilda, I am sorry if that sounded awkward. But I do find you very sweet, that's all, honey.”
”Haha, that's OK. Some guys here say that too, you know.”
”So…you're not engaged or anything? Surprising if that's so.”
”Ahh, well, I was. We broke up, though. Steve found another. Shit really.”
”Oh, I'm so sorry.”
”Eh, please don't be. We had been together for ages but it seemed to go nowhere. It got stale I guess. Those things happen.”
”Yeah, hehe, tell me about it. I had a girlfriend but suddenly it just ended. I couldn't see why though. I missed her a lot.”
”Hmm…you're a lesbian? Oh wow I couldn't guess..”
”Ahh, no big deal. Hope I am not bothering you but I have to tell you, Matilda: You look so great! Have you ever thought about…well….”
”Being with another woman? Ahh, not really, no. But, I like what you say about me, thank you Toni. I can be friends with you, and, well, I will think things over…”
”That's good, hun. You think about it. I can wait for your decision.”
I had to smile at her again. Matilda looked surprised and then pensive, it was so sweet watching her.
We finished our cups while discussing some points about the incubations of the plates. She rose first and I followed, watching her moves as she walked back. Suddenly she seemed like all of the answers to my prayers, but something inside me halted me and reminded me of the fact that she was not even a proper lesbian. That would not stop me from making advances, though. Carefully.
”Hey Linda!! Don't you still sell those wonderful apple-scented soaps anymore? They used to be here in this corner, right?”
I was staring at Linda behind the counter of her little beauty shop. It was a cozy place to look around and buy gifts, I thought. As I knew her, she would give me a discount for old times sake, which was neat.
”Oh, eh, Toni, I am out of them, currently. Eh…coming Thursday I think.”
”Oh, damn, I'll get real thirsty by Thursday, dear.”
”Ahh, you…..sexy bitch. You want it for a present? Yeah, I can tell, you know. Always read you clearly.”
”Do I look all fuzzy? In love again? Well, perhaps I am. Yeah….”
”Then tell me. Who is it?”
There was a rattle. Another girl came in and started browsing. I knew Linda had to take care of her customer in a minute.
”Ahh…it's Matilda. She's soo damn sexy, sis!”
I whispered between my teeth, making Linda giggle.
”Hm, be careful. I think I've seen her here with a guy before.”
”Yeah she told me they broke up.”
”Oh all right, best of luck. Now excuse me, I have to help that girl. You can come back Thursday and I'll probably have new soaps for you.”
”Thanks, Linda. You're my treasure, you know?”
”Muahhhhh. Love you sis!”
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What happens when you fall in love with someone of the same sex, but you are not sure about how they will take it?