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A Twenty Four Hour Urine Study


by Boudreau Freret


Hour 1.  Liquid appears warm to touch.

Hour 2.  Liquid appears yellow-y in color.

Hour 3.  Liquid smells ammonia-ish.

Hour 4.  Cat offered liquid: did not drink.

Hour 5.  Penny (U.S., 2004) dropped into liquid. No discernible effect on either.

Hour 6.  Asked liquid “What is your name?” in seven languages. Liquid did not respond.

Hour 7.  Small amount of liquid poured onto paper.  Paper became wet.

Hour 8.  Wooden match (ignited) dipped into liquid: flame extinguished. (Liquid did not ignite.)

Hour 9.  Small amount of liquid poured onto plate. No discernible effect on either.

Hours 10-19.  Liquid on plate evaporated. Darker yellow stain appeared.

Hour 20.  Dog offered liquid: drank.

Hour 21.  Lady Gaga played at comfortably loud volume: liquid did not move.

Hour 22.  Staff Sergeant R. Lee Ermey (U.S.M.C., Ret.) gave liquid several directives. Using a stern tone of voice. Liquid did not respond.

Hour 23.  Liquid shown high definition video footage of Jessica Alba: no discernible effect. (On liquid.)

Hour 24.  Liquid tastes “uriney.”
 

Conclusion:    Liquid is urine.
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